Taken
by BellsNGems
Summary: Probably around Eclipse; no exact time period. Fluffy Bella/Edward moments, but this story becomes serious and violent when Jacob rapes Bella after she decides to talk to him about her and Edward. Pretty decent. Please keep reviewing, love you guys!
1. Chapter 1

_I cried as he pressed himself into me. I saw nothing but russet, gleaming skin and the raven locks whip around me in a fog. I wore a blue, light buttoned henley shirt underneath my thick wool jacket. And even then I could feel the hardness of the wall scrapping my back. But I was not thinking about such trivial matters at the moment. I was not thinking that it had been Edward who had given me the jacket I wore. Nope, no trivial matters here—not when all I could focus on was the heat of his breath fanning across my face and into my neck. The feeling of him was everywhere. Omnipresent and overpowering. I could only cry harder. I wished that it would go away. I wished terribly that it would end. I wished terribly that my feet could touch the ground. That I was not held up against him and the wall. I wished so hard...._

_* * *_

I had awoken this morning, and as usual Edward was by my side.

"How did you sleep, love?" he asked, his eyes displaying the concern across his face. "You mumbled incoherently a bit. It seemed you weren't...having that great a time. But I didn't want to wake you. I wasn't sure I should."

I couldn't remember dreaming anything, and I told him so. I felt a small twinge of..._something_. I wasn't sure what it was, but I didn't want to burden him with it. I brushed it off. It was nothing, I was sure, because when I slept in Edward's arms I felt good, I felt _safe_. It was nothing.

I smiled to him and he smiled back, seeming untroubled after my assurance. He gave me a crooked grin, the one I loved so much, as he heard a slight growl from my stomach. I blushed pink, remembering that I had missed dinner last night since Jacob, Billy, and Charlie had ordered pizza while watching some game on the television. Jacob was still not in complete talking terms with me. It had hurt him that I had picked Edward, in spite of all his warnings. And it had hurt me that he couldn't just let things go and be happy for me the way a real friend should. I knew the two could get along, if they got over this enemies-from-the-beginning-of-time nonsense.

From his place on the couch, he had looked at me with his warm, dark eyes, but for a moment I could still see a tiny flare of resentment in them. I knew we would have to talk about this sooner or later, but I had to think things clearly. Think about what I would have to say. I had decided to make myself scarce, assuring Charlie that I didn't want any pizza. I turned and went to the table, taking a small apple from the kitchen before running up the stairs to my bedroom.

I did my bit of homework knowing Edward wasn't due for a couple hours still. Alice was borrowing him for a new wardrobe project. I smiled at the thought of Edward going through that. Alice dressing him. A small laugh escaped my lips in the dim light of my lamp.

Suddenly I could hear the slight vibration of my phone from somewhere. I scrambled about trying to locate it. I thought I had left it in my book bag, but then remembered that I had left it in the pocket of the jeans I had worn to school today. I dove to the end of my bed, snatched up my pants and held the phone to my ear.

"Hello Edward," I said, feeling a pathetic smile light up my face.

"Bella? Are you alright, love?" I didn't understand why he sounded concerned.

"Of course, what's the matter?"

"Alice saw you disappear—"

"Oh! No, please tell her not to worry. It's because Jacob is here," I said lightly. I could hear the tense silence on the other side and rushed to explain. "Don't _you _worry, too, Edward. We're still not speaking." My voice sounded slightly bitter. "He's downstairs with his father and my dad, watching some game." I rolled my eyes. "I'm in my room...waiting for you," I said with a smile. Although I had meant for my voice to sound a bit flirty, it came out breathy with longing. Typical, really.

"I'll try to go as soon as Alice let's me," he chuckled. I could hear a slightly indignant sound issuing from her. "She insists on some new french designs. And prepare yourself because I think you're next." I groaned. I would have to come up with some excuse to not let her spend money on me. Also, I definitely didn't think I could be graceful enough to pull off anything french and fashionable. He laughed at my reaction. "...Now please tell me you don't want Jacob in your home, give me—or Alice—an incentive to let me leave."

This time I laughed. "I don't need to be rescued, Edward. I'm happily sitting in my bedroom. Just let Alice have her fun. I will be seeing you soon anyway."

He let out a low groan. "Oh, fine." I giggled a small laugh. "Time doesn't go by fast enough until I see you again." That sent my heart in a flutter, and I smiled so content and happily that I was surprised to not see flowers and rainbows sprouting from me. "....Time's cruel to me. I hate being away from you, but remember that tomorrow will be sunny and Emmett wants me to go hunt with him and Jasper...." I sighed and told him I remembered. I would cherish the time he did spend with me.

That night passed peacefully in Edwards arms. Like every other night for the past week and a half. No bad dreams. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to feel but the happiness that came with being with the one you truly loved. I was peaceful.

I was momentarily brought out of the stupor induced from recalling last night's events when Edward said, "It's time for breakfast, I think."

"Yes, but I need some human moments first," I said, my voice sounding timid. I knew my hair would be a tangled mess of slight curls like it was every morning. He smiled, seeming to find it endearing. His arm was still wrapped around my shoulders before he let it fall away. I kissed the end of his jaw and he kissed my forehead, caressing my pink cheek.

"Would you like me to fix you something for breakfast while I wait? Your father left an hour ago."

I smiled. "You don't have to do that, Edward."

"Alright, I will surprise you then." He smiled that perfect crooked smile again. He was looking so perfect that I rushed to the bathroom to get myself taken care of with a good warm shower and proper brushing of teeth.

Once I had finished I used an old blow drier to dry my hair half way. I rarely used one, but I hated to have it dripping down my back, soaking through my clothes. Especially in the mornings when it was cold enough. Why make it unnecessarily so?

I went to my room with a blue towel wrapped safely around me. I saw through the window that the sun was shining bravely between passing clouds. The cold morning temperature still lingered, but I knew it would be warmer later on. It made me smile as I walked to my dresser. I looked into one of the drawers and snatched out an old pair of jeans—

"Breakfast is ready when you are."

I dropped the jeans, gasped and whirled around, clutching one hand over my chest, securing the already secured towel by instinct, while my other hand shot up to my throat. There he stood. His hair tousled in the casual disarray that was so becoming of him. He wore black jeans and a grey thermal shirt with the sleeves pushed up his forearms. His strong arms crossed over his chest lightly as he leaned against the doorway looking so...._Edward_. It should be illegal for someone to look so good. I felt a blush creep into my cheeks.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he said. A glint of playfulness gleamed in his amused eyes. He walked over to me, but it was more like a graceful glide. The one I associated with my beautiful vampire. I could feel one corner of my mouth twitch up involuntarily as he placed his hands on either side of me, against the dresser. I loved being so close to him. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him, never letting go.

"It's okay...." I whispered lightly, looking up into his golden eyes. I wondered how beautiful they might have been when they were the original shade of green. He was several inches taller than me, and as he stared down, deep in my eyes I felt the urge to hold him again. He smiled my crooked smile and his lips moved forward to linger around my forehead. I could feel my heart beginning its wild frenzy. I knew he could feel it too. He brought one hand and smoothed it across my left shoulder, lightly rubbing it against my skin. I relaxed, but my heart was still thrumming wildly and I could feel my chest heaving slightly. I could feel my right arm still splayed across my chest, my fingers clutching the thick fabric of the towel, tingling with want.

His nose traced its way from my hair to my ear. He whispered, "You smell so good right now—and it hasn't even been raining." I didn't know how to answer that. Maybe they were putting something new in the Forks water? I shrugged lightly and breathed in his heady scent. It made my belly tingle in appreciation. Gods, I loved him.

He kissed the skin under my ear. I gasped a barely audible gasp and wrapped the hand that wasn't holding my towel in place around one of his arms. He chuckled at my silly human reactions. I only grinned and tried to stand on the ends of my toes to reach his lips. He smiled and stood up a little taller. I wrinkled my nose at him, which made him tremble with soundless laughter. His eyes were so warm when he slowly moved his hand from my shoulder to the fingers that were grasping the towel so tightly. Ever so gently his palm rubbed lightly. I could tell my reactions pleased him because his eyes grew tender, if a little amused. I could feel my breathing hitch up a notch. His gaze moved to where I was holding on to the towel. He gently broke the hold of my fingers from the fluffy material. My chest heaved slightly faster as one of his fingers lingered on the flushed skin there.

"Blue always looks so lovely on you." His fingers still lingered on the skin above the cerulean colored towel.

"Everything looks good on you," I tell him. My face can't help but smile happily at him. "It's about time I had something over you." He grinned his wide, wicked smile and puts his arms around my waist. I finally moved my hands and locked them behind his neck. I sighed, content, when he gently kissed my lips with his cool marble mouth.

"Your breakfast is getting cold, love. And I'm sorry, it's my fault for keeping you up here. I'm dazzling you." This time he laughed out loud and I nearly choked with embarrassment as my whole body went scarlet, even though I knew he was right. Stupid, smug vampire.

"You wish." I sounded breathy as I always did when he was like this. He laughed, completely at ease. He kissed my lips and I melted again. My mind filled with warmth and my thoughts chanted lovingly _stupid, smug vampire_. _I love you_! I giggled at myself and he kissed my forehead again, seeming to not get enough. But alas, he disengaged himself from me and walked out the door leaving me to my own devices.

I was so overwhelmed that I leaned against my dresser for support. I could feel my pathetic smile plastered all over my face.

I calmed my breathing for a couple minutes and finally moved to get dressed. I looked out the window again, and the sun still shined brightly, reflecting my mood. It looked like it would be a beautiful day. I felt so happy that I even decided to dump the jeans I was going to wear and opt instead to wear a medium wash denim skirt that came up a couple inches above my knobbly knees. I moved to my closet and picked out the first blue top I saw; A light buttoned henly shirt that I slipped on. It clung to my torso, but not so much that I minded. _He likes blue_. The thought made me laugh heatedly as I slipped on black low-top Chucks.

I came bouncing down the steps like a child, and when I got around the stairs into the kitchen I stopped short as to not run smack into him. He reached out to me and handed me a magenta rose. It's one of those that are pale pink in the inside and the further the petals go out, the more intense the pink coloring grows.

Yes, today would be perfect. I smiled widely.

"It's not exactly like it, but it's the closest color I've found to match your blush," he said in his velvety voice. And to my great embarrassment my pale pink face flushed.

Of course he laughed at my reaction.

"Oh, you stupid, smug vampire, how I love you." I reached and wrapped my arms around him. He grabbed my waist and lifted me a few inches off the ground and into his arms. "Will you kiss me now or do I have to make you?"

He laughed and picked me up completely. "You look nice today," he said, looking at my legs in his arms.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen." That made him grin his wide, wicked smile at me. He placed me on one of the non-matching chairs and finally kissed me before he moved the plate of food towards me. It was a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of scrambled eggs. There was also a small plate with my favorite strawberry poptart on it, and a bowl of fruit salad with a glass of orange juice adjacent to that.

"I'm not going to be able to eat all this, you know!" The table looked like I was eating with my dad rather than alone. I usually just had a poptart or a granola bar for breakfast.

"I'm not quite sure what you like for breakfast just yet. I'm usually only with you for lunch and dinner." He flashed me another heart melting smile.

I tried to remember my original thoughts.... "There are starving children out there, you know. We shouldn't waste all this food." I didn't sound as strong as I meant to sound.

"We donate many dollars to many charities." His eyes glinted warmly. "I'll give even more this month to make up for my lack of sensitivity here," he gestured to the table. He smiled and I couldn't say anything to reprimand him anymore, so I tucked into my sandwich. It tasted good, and I told him so.

"....For someone who usually never cooks, nor eats this stuff, I mean." I even gave him a small wink.

He laughed merrily. "You should remember by now that I'm good at _everything_." Stupid, smug vampire!

"I suppose you're right this time," I grumbled. His smile became more pronounce before he changed the subject.

"What would you like to do this beautiful Saturday?"

"Oh, right, it's Saturday....I wonder where Charlie went..." He'd usually say something to me before he leaving on weekend days.

"Billy called him this morning. Something about how Harry Clearwater finally purchased a big flat screen television. Apparently he had it on layaway. They sounded very cheerful because it's the first game for the mariners this season. They might be there all day." He grinned. I smiled, too. Yes that would be just like them. Men and their beers and their sports. I smiled, imagining how rowdy and loud I knew they could get. Old people, jeez. I grinned at myself again.

"He peaked into your room—of course I hid before that," he flashed me a sly smirk. "He thought about waking you but decided he'd call you from Billy Black's home later on. He was thinking that he would ask you to come join them if you wanted to." He looked down before continuing. "He definitely likes Jacob Black more than he likes me," he said with a surprising impish grin.

"That doesn't matter." I stood up and made my way to him to sit on his lap. "Because _I _love you." His arms held me at my waist tightly. His eyes locked with mine and he gave me his lopsided grin. I leaned forward and kissed him, unable to help myself.

"And as long as you want me, I'll be here."

" I will always want you. You might as well slip on that ball and chain now."

He threw his head back and roared with velvet laughter. "Gladly, my love!"

I finished my breakfast and after that we decided to go to his home. He told me that Alice was still going on about her infatuation over the french designs she liked so much. I hoped she wouldn't want to test anything on me. I knew I'd never get rid of her if I let her.

Fortunately we spend a good time watching Jasper and Emmett play their game of chess with their own complex set of rules. Other than at the Cullens', I had never seen a game of chess like this. It was rather interesting but I was rather lost half the time, even though Edward tried to explain certain moves to me. Sometimes in the middle of his talk he'd turn just at the right angle and the sun caught his skin. Of course I was lost.

He sat next to me on a comfortable black couch and Alice sat on my other side. By the expression on her face, she was itching to mouth Emmett's next moves to Jasper, but she promised to not tilt the balance of this game. We were in one of their family rooms, well it was more like a playroom since the chess Jasper and Emmett were playing was made up of life size pieces in a chessboard that covered half the room. I wondered briefly where on earth they had found such things.

Esme was kind enough to cook stir-fry for me to have for lunch. She said her and Carlisle had had fun in the kitchen. I wasn't sure what she meant exactly but she looked so sweet and gracious leading me to the mahogany dinner table that I didn't dare ask. As always, Edward followed shortly behind me.

"I'll eat quickly," I assured him. "You don't have to stay, you can go back to watch the game if you'd like."

"You must be joking my sweet Bella. It's_ much _more fascinating to watch you rather than the two vampires up there." He motioned with his eyes to the ceiling as he said the last bit, and I felt my cheeks glow red.

He chuckled and asked what I wanted to drink.

"Soda's fine," I smiled.

"Do you have a preference?" he asked, ever watchful.

"Erm, well, I'm rather craving orange soda, but if you don't have that, it's not a problem, whatever's in stock will do." I smiled again, but I hoped it wasn't Dr. Pepper or root beer; both tasted like medicine to me.

He chuckled and brought back with him a glass full of orange fizz with a few ice cubes bobbing on top. He scooted his chair so he was angled very closely to me.

Without warning a vibration startled me and I jumped before I realized that my phone was going off. I quickly made to take it out of my pocket.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hey, Bells. Sorry I left without saying anything. You were still asleep when I left, and I got a little sidetracked with Harry's new TV." He sounded happy and I could here more cheerful male voices in the background. He went off to tell me what Edward had already told me this morning. "So if you'd like—and you'd make your old man happy if you did—to come down to Harry's place to join in on the fun. Jake's here. I'm think he'd like to talk to you, Bells." I wondered if he was just trying to get me to go or if Jacob had really said something.

"Uh, listen, Dad. I'll call you back with an answer. I'm sort of having lunch with Edward and his family." I pursed my lips as to not let a laugh escape me. Edward grinned at me, making little circles with his fingertips on my hand.

"Oh, okay, that's alright Bella."

"Okay, I'll talk to you in a bit."

I hung up my phone and turned my head to look at Edward. He stopped drawing out little playful circles and took complete hold of my hand this time.

"Are you going down to La Push?" His eyes were very much hesitant as if he expect a lash out at any moment.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I'm sure it would please Charlie, but Jacob's still not really talking to me—"

"You're father said he would want to," he pointed out.

"Yes, but with Charlie, well, I'm not sure if he was just saying that or not...."

"If I'm honest with myself, Bella, I'm sure Jacob wants to see you and talk to you....But _I_ don't want you to go. I won't prohibit it, I can't do that to you anymore, but it still makes me anxious and I can't help that," he said this slowly, his voice sounded sad.

"Look, Edward, I know I should talk to him. Get all this out of the way, but I'm not sure what I will say to him when we come face to face....I should go, though. Besides you'll be away from here by this evening."

"I can post pone the hunting trip if you'd like," he said in earnest.

"No, please don't. It'll be a good time to talk with him, I think. And when you come back, hopefully all this will be sorted out once and for all."

"I don't want to be away when you talk to him, Bella," he said tersely. "_I _couldn't possibly afford it if he suddenly became angry and I wasn't there to protect you from it."

"Edward, there's no way you can be present. I know what ignites when you two are near each other, and it'll probably get worse with the subject at hand. Besides, I don't think Jacob would hurt me anymore than you would." He stared into my eyes, clearly unconvinced. I tried to soothe him. "Edward, please, I'll be just fine....I'll tell him the plain and simple truth, that I want to be with you, and nothing can or ever will change that," I told him gently, trying to make my face warm and tender, it wasn't really hard to do with him. I never realized when exactly I had gotten on his lap with my arms around his shoulders, but I did, and now his lips were molding themselves to mine in complete harmony.

"I love you, Bella, so much so that I can't possibly leave you alone with him. I'm sorry," he said sadly. "I will tell Emmett and Jasper that I'm not going hunting with them. Either that or that we post pone the trip until after this problem with Jacob is settled."

"I was alone with him yesterday, remember," I pointed out.

"No, you weren't. It was hardly the same. _He _was with your father and his father. You were in your room and you most certainly weren't talking to him about anything as serious as what you plan on talking about with him tonight. There's no way I can trust him to be good to you with a subject like that at hand."

"Then trust _me_, Edward. I know I can handle Jacob. He's just an overgrown puppy." I tried to smile sweetly at him.

"Of course I trust you! Silly Bella," he grumbled. "But I don't trust that he will behave himself around you. I don't trust that he will hold back and mind the fact that you're so _fragile_. What if he becomes violent? What if he can't control himself? What if—"

"Edward," I said sternly. "Listen to me, Jacob will be just fine. I can't keep putting this off and you know it. My conscious has been eating at me and I need closure—and I know he does, too."

"You're right." I lit up in hope that he would finally ease up. "But still, it doesn't make me feel any better about letting you go off alone into the wolves caves. Please, at least let Alice watch over you."

I shook me head. "You know it gives her headaches when she's trying to see something she can't see. I don't want to submit her to that. And you know her presence would have almost the exact same response yours would."

"Well, I would rather Alice suffer a little bit of pain in order to keep you safe, than to leave you off wandering."

"Edward, please stop this, alright? ...I'll be close to Charlie and the rest of them. They wont let anything happen, okay." I tried to sound as confident as I could. After all, I was a bit excited to see Jacob, even though I was a complete coward inside and detested the fact that I would have to talk to him about us.

He hung his head in defeat. "I suppose my only option will be to put my trust in the mutt. I'll have to warn Alice that you'll be disappearing tonight."

I smiled warmly at him, and I couldn't help but give him a kiss. It turned into the most intense kiss we've had in quite a while. I was completely breathless and blushing red sitting on his lap. His hands had snaked themselves just under my top and he held me tighter.

"Thank you," I said in that same breathy voice I couldn't help. "I love you very much."

"I spoil you too much," he grumbled. It was true, I couldn't argue with the fact that—for the most part—he gave me everything I wanted. Right then a corner of his mouth lifted and he looked at me gently and lovingly. "I love you, too, you know." I smiled warmly and nodded.

"Well, then, I'll be leaving quite soon. Can I at least drive you to the border before I go?"

I shook my head, smiling. "No, thank you, I would rather drive myself down there. Also, I hate doing homework on Sundays so I'll have to finish up the last minute Trig homework I left."

He sighed, "alright...Did you need any help with that?" he added, his voice smooth and soft in my ear.

I giggled slightly. "No thank you, I think I can fend for myself with this, too."

"My, you're getting a little too independent just now."

"Don't worry, it wont last. Come Monday I'll be giving you a much shorter chain and much heavier ball." I gave him an impish grin and he tickled my belly while hiding his head in my hair and growling playfully in my ears.

Once Edward had to get ready for his hunting trip I called Charlie and told him I'd be going down to La Push within a few hours. "Dad, don't worry, I'll finish up my homework and drive myself down there, okay?"

"Sure, Bells, just hurry or all the hamburgers we're grilling will be gone." I smiled as I recalled how much those boys ate. I assured him I'd go as soon as I was done and hung up once our call ended.

The sun had shone through the Cullen's long clear walls and it had been nice to feel the warmth radiating on my skin, through my light shirt and warming my hair, but now the evening was coming and I knew the sun would be gone within an hour and a half. The night was bringing with it a cold chill in the air. I shivered as I stepped outside, ready to go home. Well, not _ready _exactly, but I knew I had to go anyway. The thought made me shiver again.

Edward came up behind me and put a dark wool jacket around my slender shoulders. I looked at him questioningly.

"You can pretend it belongs to Alice," he said, "but to be truthful I like to keep a coat handy for you. You're very unreliable when it comes to your safety and warmth."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'll pretend it belongs to Alice than."

Edward drove me home in his Vanquish. He said Jasper and Emmett would be waiting for him to pick them up on the highway so he wouldn't have to go back home. I figured they would run, and with their speed they would probably be waiting by now.

"So where exactly are you going this time," I asked casually once he stopped on my driveway. The truth was, I didn't want him to leave me just yet.

He smiled and leaned across the seat to kiss me. His face hovered a few inches away from me and he said, "Don't you worry about anything, we'll be back by tomorrow afternoon. We're only going south, around the Oregon border. I won't be too far." He smiled crookedly again and suddenly I wished with all my might that it was tomorrow afternoon again. I really was pathetic, but I couldn't help it no more than I could help my clumsiness.

He got out of the car and with his vampire speed, he raced to my side and opened the door for me. I took his hand gratefully and we walked to my porch. He unlocked my door even though I didn't see him reach for the key. I figured he was just too fast for my slow human reactions. We stepped inside and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"It still smells a little like dog in here." He wrinkled his nose playfully. "We'll have to exterminate," he said cheerfully.

The corners of my mouth twitched involuntarily, and I reached with one hand and punched his shoulder slightly. "Edward, stop it." He smiled at me and kissed my forehead, his lips lingered on the top of my head a little too longingly. I sighed sadly, wishing he wouldn't have to go. "I still hate to leave you, knowing what you're going to do...."

"You'll be back soon enough." I tried to make my voice sound strong. "Don't worry, I'll be asleep half the time anyway." I pulled away a little to look into his face. "Now don't make Jasper and Emmett wait any longer. The faster you go, the faster you have to get back to me." I reached up to kiss him and he leaned down so I wouldn't have to stand on the ends of my toes.

"Love you, Bella," he sighed.

I smiled as warmly as I could and told him I loved him, too. It was the easiest thing in the world to do. He kissed my forehead goodbye again and left quickly. I was glad for that, other wise I might have pulled him and held him to me, never to let go.

I sighed and turned around to rest my back on my front door. The dim lamps Edward had turned on with a flip of the switch glowed abysmally without his presence here to cheer the room up.

I pressed myself into the coat he had given me—I figured perhaps Alice had helped him with the picking of the size because it fit me perfectly. I inhaled the scent of it. I thought perhaps this had been in his room for a while because it smelled like him. It was wonderful and my heart longed for him the way it always did.

I walked into the kitchen and took from the fridge the fruit salad Edward had prepared for me this morning. I chewed on the fruit pieces happily, lost in thought as I walked slowly up the stair steps. I settled, laying down with my belly on the bed, the small bowl of fruit salad on the side and my gross Trigonometry homework in front of me and set to work. Within fifteen minutes I felt my mind wander to him and I crossed my ankles in the air. I forced myself to focus on the problem at hand. It was hard but I somehow was able to concentrate hard enough on math to not let myself stray for more than a few minutes at a time to thinking about Edward.

I sighed happily when I had finished the work. I closed my notebook and set it carefully on the ground next to my bed. I uncrossed my ankles and flipped over on my back. I looked up to the ceiling, but not really seeing it, instead I saw Edward's face. The way he smiled his crooked smile. I couldn't help the happy grin that spread itself across my face. I inhaled the scent from the jacket again. I was a little disappointed to find that it was fading just a bit.

Suddenly, I remembered that I had to go down to La Push in a bit. I groaned. I didn't want to dwell on that. I was definitely happy to be able to see Jacob again, to hear his voice—maybe even a laugh or two, but I wasn't happy about having to have to tell him the things I would.

The quiet sound of tires wheeling their way onto the pavement and dirt of the driveway pulled me out of my thoughts. I told Charlie he needn't bother to come pick me up, that I would drive myself. My motive for that was that I had my own truck to drive back home if I needed to get out of La Push before Charlie was ready to leave.

Although the sound of this car didn't exactly sound like Charlie's cruiser. I wondered briefly if he had driven Billy's newer truck, or Harry's old pathfinder. I sighed and walked out of my room, towards the stairs.

Once I reached the bottommost step I stopped short as I saw him open the door and walk in.

It was Jacob. My Jacob.

His dark hair fell loosely, framing the sides of his face, ruffled slightly by the cold wind that had sneaked past the door before he shut it; I was glad I was still wearing my jacket. I looked at him, taking him in. He wore a dark shirt, paying no mind to the cold weather, and actual jeans. His lips were pursed together, but his smile was warm. That triggered something in me. I walked over to him slowly, almost in a trance, and placed my arms around his middle. He was so tall, no giant bulging muscles like Emmett or Sam, but the strength was visible in his frame from a mile away. He put his arms around my waist and back and I felt like a rag doll with his arms surrounding me.

He pulled away from me and his expression was pained, but only for a second before he masked it. He moved to sit in the middle of the old couch. I stood in front of the door before I turned towards him.

"You look pretty, Bella," he said with a slight smile. His eyes gleamed in a way I wasn't sure about, but I didn't let it bother me. Instead I gave him a half smile and felt my cheeks color pink slightly.

"I thought you were Charlie," I said quietly, after a few silent moments.

He looked to the ground before answering. "....No. He told me you would be coming down later after he talked to you on the phone earlier, though." I didn't say anything, so he patted the spot next to him. I settled beside him, but still kept a safe distance. I clamped my knees together and put my interlocked hands on my lap. His stare was intense on me and it made me look down. His warm fingers pulled the locks of hair that had fallen to cover my face, and placed them gently behind my ear. "I told him I wanted to speak with you. He seemed pleased, so I told him I'd come here, where we would be free to talk, instead of waiting for you in Harry's rowdy house. He said to take my time. That they didn't really need us there for now." He smiled in a strange unfamiliar way. "They're having a good time, I assure you. They're just getting worse with old age." His smile was mischievous and warm in the dim light. It didn't take a lot to keep my father happy, and for that I was grateful.

I looked at him again and his face became serious. "He likes me for you, Bells." I already knew that, but unfortunately for them both, Jacob wasn't who I wanted. I sighed. I could see he was slowly moving his hand to my lap as if to take a hold of one of mine. I didn't want that so I moved my hands away and instead his outstretched hand fell on my lap next to one of my knees. "Have you thought about it, Bella? Really thought about it?" I didn't ask what he meant, I knew what he was talking about. The last time I saw him he had told me to think about my options. He wanted me to pick him, but how could I? How could I do that when I had Edward? _My Edward_. My feelings for him would never change. I knew I would always love him. No matter what.

I looked down at his hand on me, it was too warm and I moved it away. I rubbed my lips together, I didn't want to sound all croaky when I spoke with him. I needed to sound firm. I needed to give him complete closure. I sighed and turned my head to look into his dark eyes. "Jake, there aren't many things to consider. I _love_ him. I can't change that—"

"You've never tried!" His voice was low, but passionate still, trying to make me see something I would never see.

"It doesn't matter, Jacob. I love him and that's that. It wont change, I know that. And you should really get it through your head, too."

He took a hold of my shoulders, firmly setting his large hands on either side. His eyes were electric, full of raging passion as he tried to reflect on to me something I would never see, again. I could see him trying to keep from shaking sense into me. His voice was carefully controlled, but intense nevertheless, "Bella, listen to me...I can _give _you so much. _Everything_." His face was almost pained. "Everything that leech can't." He placed one large hand on my belly, covering more than half of it. I moved my hands to it, trying to remove it from my body, but regardless of my attempts, he held it there easily. "I want us to grow old together eventually. I want us to be a family. I want us to be happy with little children in our arms." I could see in his eyes what he saw for the future. I could see myself being happy with a small child with his same darker skin and Jacob holding us lovingly, protectively. I could see him trying so hard to convey those images in my mind. "You would never have to hide from Charlie or Renee. It would make them so happy. I know you'd be happy, too." Our lives together in his mind was beautiful. Beautiful in every sense. But deep inside I _knew_ they would never be true. Because in that life, Edward didn't exist.

And in _my_ life, Edward did.

"No, Jacob." I shook my head sadly; I could feel my gaze start to water up. I saw something in him then, something that snapped in his eyes, even though his sorrowful expression remained. His hand moved to curl around my waist and he squeezed his fingers to my skin. "Jacob remove your hands away from me." He didn't move at all, and I decided to go on while I still had some courage in me. "All I have to say is that you have to understand that _I love him_. I want to be with him, no matter what it takes. Please accept that. I'd understand if you wish not to see me anymore, but I need you to know that I want you in my life anyway. It's simple—"

"No, Bella," his voice overpowered mine in urgency. I could hear a growl trembling in his chest and it reminded me of the wolf I knew he could be. He grabbed me so that we were both standing. "It's not that simple!" He took my head and cradled it a bit roughly in his warm, calloused hands, and leaned down so that my face was a mere few centimeters from his. "I don't want you to die, I don't want him to turn you into one of _them_!" he said in earnest. "It's a mistake! You can't possibly give your life to him this way! Please don't do it! You have to understand that I love you! _I love you_! You can't! ....You _can't_!" He didn't yell at me really, but the outburst of anger, sadness, and heartbreak in his voice was so evident and plain to read that a lash out would have been better than to of had to face this disheartened Jacob.

He dropped his hands from me and I saw him completely brake. He didn't look away from me and instinctively I took steps back. His stomach heaved in a great sob, his eyes just barely hinting the wetness of coming tears. Suddenly he took the lamp that was sitting quietly on the side table next to him and launched it across the wall in one great, powerful move. I didn't have to see the damage to know there would be a great gash on the wall—the deafening rumble told me all.

I could feel my whole body trembling, rooted on the spot, and suddenly I wished that I would have let Edward stay, or that Alice would have watched over me in his absence after all.

He came at me in two long strides. Without warning, he grabbed me by the arms and threw me, vigorously, against the wall where the door was. "Why do you _want him_?" he asked in anguish. "He can't give you anything I can. He's just a cold bloodsucker! Bella, we'll have a beautiful life together, beautiful children." One of his hands moved to my belly again, almost caressing. "No one will touch our happiness. I wouldn't let them."

"No—no, Jacob, no." My voice sounded sad and alien to me, a little too weak, a little too breathy. He didn't seem to of heard me, and I cried as he pressed himself into me. I saw nothing but russet, gleaming skin and raven locks whip around me in a fog. I wished I wasn't here. I wished he hadn't touched me. I wished his fingers weren't squeezing my arms through my thick wool jacket. I could feel bruises forming already. I could feel the hardness of the wall scrapping my back. But I was not thinking about such trivial matters at the moment. I was not thinking that it had been Edward who had given me the jacket I wore. Nope, no trivial matters here—not when all I could focus on was the heat of his breath fanning across my face and into my neck. The feeling of him was everywhere. Omnipresent and overpowering. I could only cry harder. I wished that he would go away. I wished terribly that it would end. I wished terribly that my feet could touch the ground. That I was not held up against him and the wall. I wished so hard....

....so hard that I was in Edwards arms....

I could hear him panting with lust and anguish—a sound so foreign in its intensity. Our faces were so close, and I could feel his rapid hot breath on my face. His eyes glinted in the same manner that I couldn't understand earlier. I knew my face was streaked with tears and pale. I swallowed, frozen under his intent gaze. I knew what was coming but I was rooted on the spot. He brought his lips crashing down onto mine. I regained myself and thrashed under his lock—pushing, pulling hair and hitting whatever I could reach. I felt something and it made me yelp in surprise. He moved his face away from mine a couple inches. I tasted the gross, copper taste of blood in my mouth. I looked at him wide-eyed and I couldn't help it. I could feel how my lips became swollen and I was sure they were probably red from his forced kiss. My breathing was coming in and out through my mouth a little too fast.

He looked at my face wistfully. I didn't know what he saw there, but it didn't seem to matter because again he brought his lips to mine. I wanted to yell at him to stop, that he was hurting me. I wanted to say No, but an urgent whine escaped my lips instead and he used it to thrust his hot tongue in my mouth in such an unfamiliar way that I wanted to vomit.

I felt like he was absolutely everywhere, covering every single cell of my body in a sheet of unrequited love that I couldn't even begin to fathom what he was thinking, nor did I care. All I wanted was to crawl into my bed and wrap myself in a tight blanket and make myself as small as possible.

His kisses became more bold as his mouth snaked its way down my neck. I balled my fists and jammed on his shoulders, punching and hitting non stop. I was growing tired, but I couldn't let him go on. He had to realize what he was doing to me. He had to.

The groan I heard in my ear was ecstatic. He grumbled something about how I tasted. I didn't want to listen. Didn't want to be there. I could feel him starting to sweat. He smelled of dirt and soap, completely male. The overwhelming need to vomit washed through me again.

His hands moved to my waist and hips, squeezing through my clothing. His powerful thighs held my legs in place and I couldn't move anything besides my hands, still trying to hit him, still trying to make him go away. I could hear my voice protesting, squealing in anguish, like a cat about to die.

I struggled to clear my mind, quickly thinking of ways that I could get away intact. Nothing came to mind. He was just too big, just too strong. But I needed to get away from him. _I needed to! _ I told myself I was smarter than this—that I needed to be, but he was just _everywhere_. His hands, his legs, his face. I could hear my voice sobbing. I felt as if the true reality hadn't yet sank in. I felt like I was watching this rather than _being_ a forced participant in this morbid scene. I could hear my crying grow louder. I tried to work up a scream, but I choked on a lump in my throat. I felt frozen, but I couldn't freeze up in shock right now, I struggled against the temptation.

I struggled to look around for something that could help me, _anything_, but my view was limited. I just could not see around his black hair. My body felt sore from being pressed on, but that didn't matter. I had to do something. This would all be my fault if I didn't try.

He kept mumbling my name. Kept mumbling that he loved me—

Something broke me out of my frozen mind. If he loved me he wouldn't, _couldn't_, be doing this to me right now.

I threw my head against the wall, looked at the dim ceiling, but didn't really see it. I found my voice. "_Jacob, stop!_" I could feel my tears falling off my face into my neck.

It seemed to work. He released me and my feet slumped to the ground. I felt weak with relief, so much so that I just wanted to fall on the floor.

I couldn't look at him, even though I felt his gaze on me. I had to get out. I had to move as far away from him as possible. I did what the only thing I could and turned to the door, opening it. My body felt too slow, my mind too frantic. I couldn't get away fast enough.

It took him a few seconds to react before he began to follow me. It was dark outside. Evening had settled ominously. Cold and stiff. I walked fast. I didn't know where, but as long as I kept moving I was okay. I was nearly jogging now. I still didn't know where I was going, didn't even know which direction I had taken, I just moved one foot in front of the other in quick succession. I could hear him calling my name, not loudly, but I heard him clearly anyway. I knew if I ran he would panic and race towards me. I knew he'd catch me within seconds, but I didn't care. I ran. I _had _to. My instincts were panicking, telling me to run. I suddenly realized with a start that there were some trees around me. I think I ran around my house, a little further beyond my backyard.

"Bella, wait!" It was louder this time. I started to cry out of fear and panic. I didn't want him near me. I ran harder, but I couldn't see in front of me, or I couldn't focus enough to see. Too late I felt I root on the dirt floor and my clumsy foot was caught. I braced myself for the ground but he grabbed around my narrow waist and the ground never came. He lifted me off my feet slightly and I tried to kick but the next thing I felt was the harsh bark of a tree against my back and him in front of me. His hands were hungry and desperate, like a dog, drooling over a piece of meat that would disappear at any moment. I wished I could disappear. He was mumbling things but I didn't want to listen.

I smacked my palms on his face and he looked taken aback enough to release me. My palms stung but I took my chance and ran again, back the way I had come. I ran as hard as I could and the back porch light was glinting bravely, beckoning at me like an angel. I felt him grab the back of my jacket, trying to bring me back, but I shrugged out of the arms. He was still talking but I couldn't hear anything beyond the ringing in my ears. I was rigid with cold within seconds but I kept moving. The weak light from my house gleamed like a beacon of hope.

Just as I was escaping the trap of the trees he grabbed the hair flying behind me. I yelled in protest as I fell back against him. My hair tangled in a black mess with his as he held my back against him. My chest heaved and my legs burned from the running. I could hear his rapid breathing in my ears as he held my belly tight to him. His arms covered me in a vice and I kicked wildly before I felt my shoulder collide with a thick tree. Pain lanced through my spine. He turned me around and a weak, "no," escaped my lips before I coughed.

He was very warm. It shouldn't come to a surprise to me, but I wasn't normally so closely pressed against his body.

"Jacob, stop, please!" Surely he could see the pain he was causing me.

"How can you love him?" he asked with such tangible venom in his voice that I was sure I could taste it. He squeezed my arms so hard, it felt like he would break them off.

He skin was so hot that I felt naked before him even through my clothes. One hand moved to my waist and snaked inside my thin shirt. I pushed at him, trying futilely. One of his thighs pushed itself against my legs, forcing my clamped thighs apart. I could hear my voice crying out in anguish. This couldn't be happening to me. My best friend couldn't possibly be the one holding me against a thick tree in this dark place. He couldn't possibly be the one trying to force entry uninvited. He couldn't be the one placing disgusting, unwanted kisses on down my face and neck.

I cried and cried. I wanted to scream, to scream as hard as I could, but the sobs wouldn't stop and they left no room for anything else.

He released my upper body long enough to quickly pull off his shirt. And just as fast as he was gone, he was back to attacking me again. I couldn't move anymore. This was becoming too real. I didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to think anymore.

His hand made its way to my throat, slowly moving down carelessly as if he was too preoccupied with kissing my face to wonder what he was doing. He fingers lingered on the skin of my collarbone. I was shaking with tears, trembling, even as he tried to hold me still. His fingers drew shapes down my chest, unbuttoning my top, not minding if the buttons ripped off.

I cried harder, still, when he smacked my arm against the tree with one of his hands, trapping it there. My other arm was still hitting, pushing at him. He moved the hand that was kneading the skin just under my breast down to delve in between my thighs. I trashed my legs harder, yelling out in protest, but it was hard when he held them so tightly with his own. I squirmed, telling him to stop, to realize what he was doing. He cut me off by placing his mouth on mine. He sucked hard on my bottom lip as his hand was rubbing against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

He released my mouth long enough to sigh in desire. His hand was so warm as it inched higher on the inside of my legs. "Oh, Bella," he whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"Stop! ...Stop!" I cried out in anguish. My voice had gotten quieter and hoarse from the constant sobbing.

He released my arm from his trap and moved it to my hair, grasping a fistful. He shoved his head in my neck and I could hear him inhaling deeply over and over next to my ear.

He was sweating freely now. The light from my backyard didn't quite reach us, but sometimes when he moved just in the right way, I could see his broad chest glisten from the reflection of the weak light that did manage to peek through the trees.

His left hand held possessively on my hip, bruising, while his right hand shoved my denim skirt higher. He pulled on the band of my underwear, almost as if teasing himself.

I knew my face was puffy and red from crying and his constant kissing. I knew my hair was tangled and messy. I knew my clothes were ruined.

I felt disgusted, dirty. I couldn't go on anymore, I knew it.

Is this how he pictured us together? Is this how he wanted me to have his child...? Multiple chills of terror ran down my spine uncontrollably in a succession of spasms.

I felt something hot on my thigh and I realized with horror that I hadn't realized when he had unzipped his pants and pulled himself out.

Suddenly I trashed with all the energy I could muster. My voice came out in a whiny gasp. "_No!_ No, please, Jacob, don't!"

He looked at me, his eyes glazed. "I love you."

He grabbed my weak legs and held them around him. One of his hands ripped the bands of my underwear and dropped it to the ground, completely ruined. I had loved those. They were a sort of dark aqua blue, and satin. They were a gift from Alice. She new how much Edward loved the color.

All this time I had struggled against him for self-preservation, but now the thought of Edward made me hunch my shoulders inward on myself. It shook me with the saddest grief I had ever known. Tears flooded down my face, onto what was exposed of my torso.

He wrapped one of his arms around the middle of my back, bringing me closer. His chest pressed against my breasts, holding me in place against the harshness of the tree bark and his arm. His other hand scrambled and fluttered down in between my thighs. I could feel his palm caressing me there. I wanted to vomit so much so that a choked heave escaped me. He kissed the skin next to my hair and eyebrow and then he buried his face in my hair again, panting, breathing in my scent. I could feel one of his fingers entering, intruding on my warm flesh. My body went rigid and instinctively my chin tucked and my shoulders hunched inward again trying to block him out, trying to fight his invasion. No one had ever touched me there....

The tears streamed and even fell on him, but it didn't matter, he noticed nothing. He panted with visible effort to keep control. "So soft...my Bella..." His arm tightened again, trying to press me closer than I already was. I felt locked, fully humiliated, invaded. I kept saying, "no," over and over, growing weaker by the minute. He kissed my forehead and suddenly I could feel his gaze on my face, but I wasn't looking at him—I couldn't, I would surely die if I did, never to see Edward again. The thought broke the very core of my heart.

Instead my glazed expression turned to the blacker darkness of his hair, next to his shoulder. His eyes were still on me, I could feel it. He let out a harsh breath, sounding hurt by whatever he saw at first, but he kissed me and I shuddered, shaking my whole body. I felt his fingers twitch and he became aware of his needs, which outweighed his conscience.

He finally removed his hand from inside me and instead pulled one of my legs up higher around him. My skirt was bunched at my hips and I felt him then, truly felt him. He pressed himself inside me, slowly, as if trying to prolong it. My eyes were full of tears, and I was glad that I couldn't see what was beyond the darkness.

I was a virgin. I didn't know if he knew that, but it shouldn't have been hard for him to guess now. I could feel him forcing me to accommodate his girth when my body was instinctively trying to fight him. He pushed in further. I wished he would just get it over with.

Suddenly he gabbed me completely in his arms and moved us gently to the filthy ground. He didn't move out of me, and in the new position he only went further in. I was crying, the sobs wouldn't stop. He held still, hesitating for a moment, I didn't know why....but in the moments that followed the pain became unbearable. It was hurting worse than when James had broken my leg. It hurt because he had completely broken the barrier inside me that separated one threshold from another. I felt a warm liquid spilling from me. I heard him groan in my ear. He felt enormous inside my virgin flesh. Like he was absolutely everywhere, like he couldn't possibly fit, but he moved in, inch by inch, bit by bit. I tried to hold as still as I could, trying to lessen the pain, but the further he went in, the more I felt myself stretch around him, the more I felt the tearing.

This was the ultimate, most precious gift that I was saving for Edward. The fact that it had been taken, robbed, from me this way was killing me. It was too much to take in. And he took it all from me. He took it all.

I groaned beneath him, sobbing again, tears flowing freely down my cheeks as he brought one arm around under my head, shoving me closer into him. When is this going to end...? He grabbed my thigh and brought it up next to his hip, caressing it. The new position brought a new pain that began to burn through my body. Never going away, just changing in intensity. If I tried to move, my body would scream out, desperately telling me to hold still and just bear it.

Suddenly he released my leg, and instead grasped my hip. His thrusts had initially moved slowly, but now he was beginning to intensify his speed. His breathing was rapid and traced with an occasional mad grunt, that, under normal circumstances would be interpreted as sheer joy and ecstasy. He kissed my cheeks, my forehead, sometimes my lips, gently. His chest bumped into my breasts, the friction causing me to become even more lightheaded.

He moaned a couple of times in pleasure, and I shut my eyes as tight as I could, trying to block his voice and all the pain out from me....it was pointless. I could still feel it everywhere, surrounding me. His finger prints were all over my hips, all over my body. And if by some miracle I reached some moment of clarity, it was quickly robbed by another thrust, another shot of pain.

I felt so weak, physically and mentally. I felt like I would die in any moment....

The slightest movement, the flutter of my lashes hurt.

And still he rocked back and forth on top of me. In and out in a pattern so grotesque I knew I'd pass out. I welcomed the blackness though.

Finally, he arched upward and then downward into my neck with a sigh as he spilled himself inside my hurting body. I felt a gush of warm liquid swim out of me, trickling down my thighs and to the ground beneath. He collapsed, pumping softly until he completely emptied himself. He stayed there, still inside, kissing my throat, my wet cheeks, wiping away my tears until his breathing slowed.

He kissed my ear and my temple almost delicately, then whispered to me as he withdrew, "I love you...."

After that I remembered nothing but the welcoming darkness. I had lived through it. I knew I wasn't dead—the gods weren't going to be that generous to me. All I could think about was Edward. I knew he would hate me. I actually wished never to wake up.

_I knew he would hate me_......

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All right, all, please review! :) Sorry if it has errors, I edited the first half of the story but not the second half....I'm not sure about continuing this. I may not be _that _creative. But i _might_ upload another chapter, perhaps dealing with Edward's reaction. Not sure yet, depends on what I can think up and what the feedback is. :)


	2. Chapter 2

I was sitting out on the porch. It was getting dark, the sun about to set in the next half hour.

I'll have to see her. I can't help it. I need to. I'll have to go see her. Tonight. I took a slight swig from the bottle Quil had given me....or had it been Embry? I was too preoccupied to even bother to remember now.

Charlie had told me she would be coming over tonight. Perhaps I should call her...

"Jake, son, what are you doing out here? Don't you want anymore burgers? They'll be gone soon." Charlie came to stand next to where I was sitting, astride the wooden porch rail.

"...Do you think I should go talk to her, Charlie?" I asked, my voice sounded monotonous as I stared off. He looked down for a few moments before speaking. This probably made him uncomfortable. Other than approving of me, he didn't want much to do with his daughter's love life.

"I don't think you need to, really. Remember she said she was coming in a bit."

But she might not come over though. The fact that I would be here might make her stay away. She wanted to be with her leech, she might not want to patch things up with me. She might not care enough to do so. No, this was my Bells. If one thing I was certain about was that she cared for me. It bothered me that I had doubted, even for a moment.

I have to go talk to her. I couldn't leave this up to chance. I said I would fight for her. And that had been a wolf's promise. One to keep.

"Yeah, she did say that...but would you mind if I went to your house to talk to her. I'm sure it'll be easier than trying to make my peace here." I gestured with my thumb towards the house, where we both clearly heard the havoc coming from inside. Besides, I didn't want to be anywhere near a fellow wolf. Least of all Sam and Emily.

Charlie smiled ruefully. "Go on then. Get out of here." I smiled half heartedly at him. "And take your time. I want this completely worked out between you two, finally." He gave me a look that emphasized that last bit. He turned to go but looked back at me again. "....You're a good kid, Jake. Good for my Bells." I smiled more warmly at that. Yes, I _am_ good for my Bells, I know that. I don't mean to sound cocky, but I _know_ I'm good for her. The best she'll ever have.

He walked back inside, leaving me to my thoughts, wondering how this would go.

It had been quite a few times I had felt that animalistic urge burst from my chest. All along I had chucked it up to me being a wolf. I'm still not sure what it was, exactly, but it had been happening in increasing degrees as my time with Bella progressed. The thoughts only got worse as time went by when Bella no longer thought of me as a friend. The more I thought of her, the more these thoughts became a habit. I couldn't help it.

She would never let me..._Like that would matter_, a mocking, smirking voice said in my head....That intruding thought made me feel even more sick with myself...I knew, physically, she could never be a match for me. She was a woman...And she was my destiny. I didn't care about imprinting. She was who I wanted, who I needed, who I loved unconditionally.

But it was these feelings, these thoughts, that used to make me feel ashamed of myself. I spoke as if she had no choice, no say in the matter, when I wanted her to. It was just that...every time she spoke, it was like sirens calling, beckoning at me. But she wasn't a siren. She was so much better. She was so good....She didn't even know it...Good to the core. I knew he knew it, too. It had to be one of the reasons he loved her. It sure was one of mine. I had to do something to make him leave her since she was obviously not willing to do it herself.

Oh God, every time I saw her....I couldn't hold it in much longer, I knew so. It was a matter of days before it'd become too unbearable. I'd have to have her, have to save her.

I had made up my mind. I would go to her. I would do everything I possibly could to get her away. The means justified the end. And in this case, her life was worth the hate. She would forgive me eventually, I was sure.

* * *

I told her I loved her, over and over. Even if she didn't believe me by what I had just done, it was the truth. I did love her. I would always love her. I've loved her from the beginning. Ever since I was born and our parents got together just to hang out. I got to know her from the start. She was older than me, but still so clumsy that even when I was a young kid of four or five, I knew she was someone that needed to be taken care of. I wanted to do that. The moment I finally realized I was completely in love with her, I felt a burst of something beautiful. Something I wanted to feel forever. My heart lit up with the brightness of the sun, and I wanted her to feel that way, too.

I remember the mud pies we'd made as kids in several occasions. One time in particular, when I was about five years old, and I had thrown her a ball of mud to her back and she had tripped forward to land on even more muddy grass. She had cried and chased after me, wailing, with skinny legs but not fast enough to catch me. Her mother had gotten a hold of her and cleaned her up on the sink while our dads played a game with cards in the other room. Her face was pale, surrounded by long waves of soft brown hair, her cheeks flushed and tear stricken. I lingered at the back of the room smiling ruefully, unsure if she was still mad at me. She had smiled back a little reluctantly. She didn't want to give in so easily but still, she couldn't stay mad at me. And even as a stupid young boy, I knew she was the pale, scrawny, little girl I would grow up to marry. And I loved her so much already.

And so I would fight for her. I told the bloodsucker I would. All in all that was a perfectly fair warning for the onslaught I would send his way.

I stared at her face through the darkness. My eyes could distinguish clearly that her hair was a tangled mess around her like a halo. My angel. She was mine, and oh so beautiful, even with the slight crease between her brows. I hoped she wasn't having a bad dream, seeing as she was no longer consciously with me.

I removed myself from her. I turned to go find my shirt as I tucked myself back into my pants. I noticed with my heightened vision and senses a couple specks of her blood on me, but it wasn't much at all, just barely a drop so I paid no mind. It was nothing but a symbol for the honor she had granted me. I went to find the shirt I had taken off earlier, and the coat she had shrugged off in attempt to get away from me; I found it a few feet away. Silly, really, that she tried to run away. I didn't even bother to use my full speed, knowing I would catch her easily without it, but perhaps had she not panicked I would have not done what I did, but that was, of course, no guarantee. I was not happy with what I did....but it seemed to be the only way. The only way I could take her from him. The only way I could stop her from doing what she would do to herself. The only way to keep her alive. She would understand in time.

I went to her again and sat carefully, close to her. I put my shirt back on. I wasn't sweating anymore, but still, I was really warm, the high hadn't quite worn off just yet. I laid down and propped myself on an elbow to look at her. I touched her soft cheeks tenderly, wiping away the stray tears that remained. Her lips were a little swollen and she had a couple bruises that I could see, but nothing serious that wouldn't fade quickly enough, and nothing that hadn't been inflicted in the moments of passion that she couldn't forgive me for.

I tried to button up her shirt with the remaining buttons—I hadn't realized that some had been come off. Anyway, I knew she wouldn't appreciate being exposed in such a manner so I tried to cover her as good as I could. I pulled her skirt down, the denim was a little stiff. I realized with a start that there was blood on her thighs mixed together with the milky substance that was mine. I knew she was a virgin at once when I buried myself in her, and the minutes of happiness I felt at that moment was truly marvelous. But, still, I hadn't realized she had bled so much. I blame it on her. If she hadn't been so soft, so warm, tight and beautiful I might have noticed. It was truly the most amazing experience I'd ever had, though. My skin pressed hotly against hers, my flesh buried to the hilt within her. Those beautiful minutes that I passed inside her was like being reborn. I would pay any price to have it again.

Still, that was nothing compared to what that vampire would have done to her. I mean the mere thought of the bloodsucker bedding her was a real and true sin. It would have been a horrible crime, even more horrible than what I had done, and deserved to be punished by the harshest, deepest circle of hell. That was certain. What I did was like give her sweet candy compared to what _he_ would have done. I couldn't even think of it.

I looked at her again as it seemed like she was about to stir. She made a hushed little sound and looked so pretty that I smiled again. I studied her intensely, looking for signs her unconscious body language was giving me. Maybe she was cold...? I draped an arm across her belly. I took hold of her arm and caressed her hand. She didn't need to worry about the cold temperature of the night, I was all the warmth she needed. The thought brought a smile to my face. _I _was all she needed.

She stirred again and her body seemed oddly stiff. I was sorry that I had done this under these circumstances, but timing had never been my strongest point. I soothed her shoulders, trying to relax her stiff posture. She might be uncomfortable; I didn't want her to feel that way at all. I remember that I had her jacket on my other side. I moved my arm to get it. I balled it up intending to place it under her head as a makeshift pillow, but I caught the sudden whiff of it and the disgustingly sweet smell of the vampire swam through my nose. I tore the fabric apart and threw it away from us.

I felt myself shake and I tried to control my anger as soon as I felt it.....

It was alright. She was okay. I was beside her, the way it should have been from the start. I heard quiet tires slowing their way, but I didn't care, I was very peaceful right now, and the sound seemed far off anyway.

Suddenly I caught the same whiff of the bloodsucker again, but it was much stronger this time. I wondered if I had left a piece of her jacket closer than I thought. I looked around searching in the direction the offending smell came from. I saw nothing. What did cause me alarm was that the car I heard earlier had to of been Charlie's because I saw lights on from Bella's house windows.

I started to panic. What the hell would I say? Sorry Charlie, I had truly passionate sex with your kid and she's even unconscious from it....? Oh, and yeah, sorry about your wall and lamp, too? No, that definitely wouldn't do. How about, uh, she fell, knocked herself unconscious and the lamp got ruined in the process...? That had a much better chance of settling with him than my first one, I thought with a laugh. I knew Charlie didn't like much information, and I knew that being Bella she would probably want to keep him in the dark about this. She liked to keep Charlie ignorant to all her activities. Like dating a stupid vampire for one. The thought sent a chill down my spine as if my body knew he was close by.

I could hear Charlie calling Bella's name, and mine, too. I'm sure he thought we were somewhere around here, seeing as my car and her truck were in front of the house, unmoved. Why did he have to show up now? It really irritated me that he came. I couldn't enjoy my time with Bella with him nosing around. I was glad it was Charlie who came though. I knew the psychic vampire couldn't see what was happening now because I was here, and for that I was glad, because I intended to take Bella far away from Forks, and didn't need any stupid vampires interfering. Then she would have to see the stupid mistake she had committed thinking she had fallen in love with a leech.

I decided to get this over with. I picked her up and carried her across the yard. Charlie didn't notice us at first because it was dark, but when he saw me with her in my arms he could only assume that she was hurt, and his face turned alert.

"What happened, Jacob?" He ran towards us and tried to take Bella from me, but I held steady. She was cradled in between our arms now, none of us willing to let her go. I could tell he was trying to keep his demeanor calm—as a parent his insides were screaming at him that something was wrong with his child, but panicking wouldn't help anyone, and because he was a cop, he knew this.

I had to think fast. Suddenly the excuse, that she had fallen, sounded so stupid I couldn't even bring myself to say it out loud. I don't know how Bella pulled it off so many times in the past.

I didn't say anything. It was a bit awkward holding her with his arms trying to take her from me, so I moved my arm underneath her knees to hoist her in a better position. It made her skirt ride up a little higher and suddenly he saw the mess in between her thighs. I should have cleaned her up a bit. His eyes widened a slight fraction and he quickly barked at me to give her to him. I didn't know what he was thinking, but he probably wasn't assuming the worst because he liked me. He had no reason, ever, to suspect anything less of my character.

His eyes flashed slightly in question, but I walked on towards his house. He trailed behind me with her in his arms. When we entered his home he laid her gently on the couch and held a palm to her forehead, wondering if she needed to go to the hospital. After assuring himself that she looked fine, if a bit shaken for now, he turned to me again. "Jacob, I will not ask you again—"

I gained myself back fully and I smiled a little, although I could feel that it was more of a slight smirk. I couldn't believe he hadn't realized what had happened yet, but that wasn't his fault. "Charlie, it's alright, okay. Bella and I were just taking a walk. We talked, but it didn't get very far...because she tripped over a tree root in the darkness and hit her head against a tree. But don't worry, she's f—"

"What the hell were you two doing out there in the night, Jake?" Well, it's not like it was my fault she had ran away. He touched Bella's forehead again, this time his eyes lingered around her face. I hadn't really realized before either, but her eyelids were a bit red and puffy, matching her lips, her face smudged by dirt slightly. You could tell she had been crying, and I knew that that's what he was concluding. "You could have easily talked in here just fine!"

"Don't worry Charlie, it'll soon be over," I said at ease. I knew he didn't understand what I was talking about and he let it go.

"Well, would you like to explain to me what happened with that?" He pointed towards the wall.

Shit, I had forgotten about that just now, but I decided on the truth with this one. "I'm sorry about that, too. I got a little mad—"

Bella spoke, then, startling us both to silence as we looked at her, lying stiff on the couch. "No, Jacob, please....no...." she mumbled, the crease between her brows ever present. Her eyes were leaking with tears and suddenly I felt shaken with sadness.

His eyes narrowed at me telling me he was coming to the conclusion his mind refused to believe. That there had obviously been a struggle in here. I knew his mind was frantically piecing the evidence together. The smashed wall and broken lamp, me emerging from the dark woods with her in my arms, her thighs, her face....I knew he didn't want to say it, or even think it, so instead he marched to where his rifle stood, propped against the wall near the door.

He looked me square in the eye. "I don't know what you did, Jacob, but I want you to get the hell out of here before I shoot your brains out you son of a bitch." His voice was low and menacing. And although a bullet would probably not kill me, I knew he meant it completely. "I do not care that you're my best friend's son. If you did anything to hurt my Bella, like I'm starting to suspect, I swear by God, Jacob, that if she wants me to, I will kill you."

I didn't care what he was saying because suddenly my head snapped towards the door, looking at something I couldn't see beyond. I smelled him earlier but he hadn't been here yet. I started to panic because I may not have enough time to take Bella away from here. It was the instinct of the wolf in me that told me he was coming. That he was now here.....

* * *

I had been driving for fifty three minutes, according to the glowing clock on the stereo. And already I knew I had to go back. Knew it the moment I left her. Something in me was feeling too foreboding. But I held on, driving south with Jasper and Emmett. _My Bella would be fine_. I sounded ridiculous in my own head, trying to convince myself even though I knew I couldn't possibly do that. I was trying to hide my true feelings from myself. Utterly absurd, really.

I knew Jasper was trying to calm me with the aura he was setting off. He didn't know why I was so tense. I figured he hadn't heard mine and Bella's earlier conversation about Jacob. They were both too focused on their stupid game of chess to of tried to of heard much. Even though his mind voiced a few questions, I was still a bit relieved he hadn't asked anything out loud. At least I could ignore him for now.

I remained equally, if not more, tense for the next hour. I tried to give my mind over to Jasper's power, tried to keep my mind on the therapeutic driving. I was well over one-hundred twenty miles per hour, but still, I couldn't get there fast enough, couldn't come back to her fast enough. I drove faster.

I hated myself for leaving her.

I shouldn't have listened to her _or_ Alice. They thought that I overreacted, called me dramatic, but still, I _shouldn't_ have listened to them.

Even though I had told her earlier after her phone call with her father that Alice wouldn't watch over her, I had not really meant it. I would be truly stupid and nearly as naive as she was if I let her go unguarded in the presence of that mutt. The lie made me feel more guilty than anything because I was lying to her. But still, a simple white lie said in order to protect her was nothing to fuss over. Well, I told myself that anyway. This beautiful, little human had given my dormant body a conscious, and sometimes—like now—I really didn't like it.

I had sneaked off only for a couple minutes after telling Bella I would gather something for my hunting trip. I did no such thing, instead I moved quickly to find Alice in the pretense of letting her know Bella would be 'disappearing' later that night. I needed to have a conversation with her at vampire speed. I looked for her in the family room where my brothers held their game of chess. I gave her a pointed look and she quickly followed me to my bedroom.

"I heard you down there with Bella. What's the matter?" she asked reading my expression, quickly catching on after I shut my door. "You told her I wouldn't interfere, Edward."

I groaned slightly with guilt. "I lied." She raised her eyebrow and shook her head in disapproval. "Oh, come on, Alice! Look, I don't care if you think it was wrong of me. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not going to let her see him without you somewhere near her—of course, it'd be wise of you not to let her know you're close by."

"I'll do it only because I know you'll go mad without some assurance...but still, I'm sure he's going to sniff me around."

"I don't give a damn about the wolf, Alice," I said lowly. "I only care for her safety."

"She doesn't want that, you know," she said, dismissing anything I had said. "She wants to do this on her own. You can think she's being stubborn and perhaps even a bit stupid for doing this the way she wants to, but you could at least try to gain _true_ trust from her." She said all this at a normal human pace, making it all sound much more worse.

"I already have her trust," I said this with my vampire speed, my teeth clenched. Why was it that she had to force conscious on me _now_?! She sounded like Esme! I was lying to myself and I damned Alice for seeing right through me on this one. I knew I already had Bella's trust but only because she was too naive and innocent to see the true nature of some people. I counted myself in the same boat as Jacob on this one. Still, I wanted to _truly _deserve her and the trust she bestowed upon me. That's what convinced me to let her be completely alone with him, without vampire interference. I was convinced already, but I was still going to try to change Alice's mind, just a bit longer.

"Come on, Alice, you're supposed to be on my side!"

"He loves her the same way you do—"

I scoffed at that. No one would truly love her with the intensity I did, _ever_.

Alice smiled. "Yeah, I don't believe that one either." I smiled involuntarily, too.

I took a deep breath. We stared at each other in silence. I knew in her mind she thought I was half right. That I was right in trying to protect her this way. But still, I could see she also thought it was wrong of me to do this behind Bella's back and I saw as much as I heard her reluctance to go against her wishes.

I exhaled my long breath. "....Fine. She can have this her way." I could hear the slight petulance in my voice as I looked at the ground. It was going to kill me, but I could suffer through this test for a night.

"Don't worry, alright," she said softly. Her voice was tender and I could see, suddenly, why Jasper loved her so much. She was a wonderful sister, and an equally wonderful companion, I was sure. "I'll check on her tonight anyway. When she's in bed and asleep."

That made me feel a bit more at ease, and I nodded, knowing this was as good as I could get.

I had lied to myself. I wasn't as strong as I hoped to be.

The tires of my vanquish screeched as they came to a stop on the pavement off the empty, dark highway.

"_Dude_!" That was Emmett's ever so practical surprised remark. I would have told him to shove it had my mind not been racing.

Jasper, of course, was a bit more sensitive to my feelings and finally asked me what was wrong.

"I have to go back." I got out of the car and they quickly followed suit.

"What do you mean 'go back'?" Emmett asked, his face flashed in concern when he really got a look at me.

"Look, you two go on. I don't want to mar the hunting trip. I'm sure I'm just freaking out over nothing—"

"Has this anything to do with Bella?" Jasper asked, his voice a little bit hushed.

I looked at him for a moment and answered truthfully. "Yeah..." He nodded. I knew they both thought I was an idiot, but they nodded again, understanding my reasoning even though I had voiced nothing.

"Edward, if there was something wrong with Bella, Alice would see it—"

I cut off Emmett's sentence, explaining that Alice wouldn't see anything because Bella was meeting with the wolf. She was probably with him by now, it had been nearly two hours since I left her. The thought made me shiver. I knew I had to get moving.

"Please, you two go on," I tossed my keys to Emmett. "I'll run my way back."

"Are you sure? We can just go back together," Jasper said trying to placate my erratic feelings and fear even though it was clear he was the one in need of this trip more so than Emmett and me. I could still feel him trying to soothe me.

"I'm sure, Jasper....Just...I'm itching to get out of here, so you two get a move on, alright?"

Jasper nodded slowly, still unsure of whether to let me go back alone or not. Emmett moved to get into the driver's seat. I exhaled as I saw my Vanquish drive off, becoming a small spectacle with every passing second. I turned and ran through the darkness, that was no darkness to me, back home.

I couldn't run fast enough, but when I got there I felt a wave of relief when I saw Charlie's cruiser and her truck outside....And then I saw his car and a wave of anger surged through me. I held still anyway. I wasn't completely stupid or foolish; I wasn't going to barge in her home without any regards to what was actually happening. If she didn't need me I wouldn't interfere....What if she was _actually_ getting through the mutt? I waited so I could hear what was being said first. Perhaps she wouldn't need my help after all.

I could hear that Charlie's thoughts were a little mad. I couldn't hear them, exactly, but I got the gist of what he was feeling by what did slip.

Then it was the dog I heard. _Shit, I had forgotten about the broken lamp... _"I'm sorry about that, too. I got a little mad—"

Mad...? ...!

Where was Bella? She wasn't saying anything and I cursed the fact that she was immune to my mind reading.

"...No, Jacob, please....no...." There she was! Her voice sounded so low and sad....

So many scenarios played within the vastness of my mind. I was rooted on the spot. I didn't know what was happening. Didn't know what had _already happened_ inside those walls.

I turned to Charlie's thoughts and I saw her through his mind's eye. She was lying on her couch. Her face was pale. She was sleeping, but she was crying, and looked like she had been for a while already.

I saw in Charlie's mind pieces of what he had already seen. Jacob coming from the wooded area behind Bella's house with her in his arms. I didn't pause even for a fraction of a second to wonder what had happened to of caused her to become unconscious that he had to carry her back. Then I saw through Charlie the damage of the wall behind Jacob. And then a sudden image of the way she looked now. There was something on her legs. I didn't know if he noticed it or not but there were blotches on her skin as well.

I couldn't dwell in Charlie's mind anymore because it was becoming too frantic, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking, just that he was angry and couldn't even speak. I just saw him get a hold of his gun.

I felt a bubble of pain and anger trying to burst forth from me—

"I don't know what you did, Jacob, but I want you to get the hell out of here before I shoot your brains out you son of a bitch. I do not care that you're my best friend's son. If you did anything to hurt my Bella, like I'm starting to suspect, I swear by God, Jacob, that if she wants me to, I will kill you."

I ran towards her house and tore the door open. I locked eyes with the dog first. He looked like he had expected me, but that wasn't hard to do because he could smell me just like I could smell him.

He looked at me and his eyes gave him away. He wanted to kill me for appearing so suddenly. I didn't care. It had been ages since I had been itching to have a go at him. To actually snap his dirty neck. I wasn't sure what had happened, exactly, but the fact that Bella didn't look alright was enough justification to want to murder him. Enough to execute the desire.

She whimpered suddenly, a painful sound. My head snapped in her direction and it was as if everything else was lost. Nothing else existed. The world held still for her, waiting for me. It was all I could do to keep myself from running straight to her.

In the background that sounded a thousand miles away, I heard Charlie raise the cock of his gun, and I didn't care. I heard the bastard dog rustling past me, and again I didn't care. She was all that mattered. And I had to know if she was alright before anything else. As I walked towards her the world could have died right then and there and nothing would have stopped me from reaching out to her.

I kneeled by her side and took her in my arms. She was cold and rigid, but she seemed alright. Perhaps the dog wasn't to blame, perhaps she had fallen...? It'd be _so_ like my Bella to do so. She'd be the kind to fall _up_ the stairs...But then again I remembered what Charlie had said to the wolf. No, clearly what ever happened, he was to blame. Her breathing was shallow and I registered that the scent of her blood lingered in the air, but I couldn't seen any immediate cuts anywhere. I just knew something was very wrong....and I just wanted to give her peace. Make her completely safe.

She looked so different than when I had left her just a few hours ago. She was hurt as far as I could tell and I had to do something about it. I could only think of one thing to do. I removed my dark peacoat, wrapped it around her, and placed her gently in my arms.

"Hey! Where are you taking her?" Charlie demanded and at the same time I heard something vibrating in my pocket. I was starting to walk out of her house paying no mind to him or my cell phone. I knew he was furious, but he didn't understand the extension of my feelings for her. My desperate desire to make her alright. He was her father and as much as he cared and loved her, he still didn't understand the desperation coursing through my body.

I looked at him hard, releasing the full potential of my stare. "I'm taking her to my father." I stepped out of her house and remembered suddenly that I had no vehicle. Stupid of me to forget, and I couldn't run to the hospital with her in my arms. It might make everything worse. I turned around and he was right behind me. "...Will you please take us to the hospital, Charlie?"

He nodded dumbly and quickly made his way to the cruiser. Honestly, I didn't want to remove her, afraid I'd hurt any injury she might have sustained. I wasn't sure exactly just yet if she was hurt, or the extension of it. I was afraid to take the chance but I had to regardless if I was going to make her better.

I knew his mind wondered how I'd gotten here because he saw no car of mine, but he was too preoccupied with concern for his daughter that he cared not to ask.

I got in the backseat and held her to me. I was afraid my cold arms were making it worse but I had to hold her safely in my arms. Make sure she was okay, if only for the time being.

_My wounded little tiger-kitten_, if I could cry I'd be bawling right now. Judging by the look on her stiff little face, I couldn't be strong enough to hold it in. She still had tears clinging to her lashes. She smelled like my beautiful Bella, but the scent of dirt, blood, and dog lingered around her. I knew something was terribly wrong. Charlie did, too, but he didn't want to think about what it could possibly be, and when he did he'd stop short before wording it, so his mind was an even bigger mess of incoherent thoughts. I just knew that he was extremely apprehensive. That's no where near how I felt.

He drove so slowly, I just wanted to shout at him to speed it up. Although, I'll admit that for a human cop he probably thought he was braking the speed limit law at just above 65mph. Still it was no where near the speed I'd be racing had I been driving. I looked down at her face again and my face twisted into the saddest of painful grins.

_She thought I drove like a maniac_....

I had to try to calm myself. I'd be doing my love no good breaking down like I desperately wanted to. I just kept thinking I knew something was terribly wrong. Charlie wasn't the only one who didn't want to think about it.

Endless minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. I would have to try to find Carlisle. I should have thought to call him sooner. Luckily for of us he was coming down the wide hall to the left of the main entrance. He immediately saw me with Bella in my arms and Charlie shuffling closely behind with the expression of an utterly lost man.

_I don't know what happened, but Alice called me minutes ago. She said something was wrong with Bella. _

I gave my father a slight nod. Alice must have seen us as soon as the wolf had left. She must have seen me leave Jasper and Emmett earlier to go back to Bella. It must have been her who tried to reach me via cell phone when I was too preoccupied to answer earlier.

"Dr. Cullen?" Charlie said, seeming to come out of his hazy thoughts. "Something's wrong with Bella—"

"Chief Swan, I'm sure everything will be just fine." His face was impassive, calm. His eyes shuffled around Bella's body trying to detect any obvious injuries. He turned to me and beckoned for me to set her down on a stretcher several feet down the hall. I tried to fully secure my coat around her. She looked even more messy and pale with the white sheets under her. I could see small twigs and stray leafs in her hair. Her knees had spots of dirt on them, too. Her scent seemed more pronounce in the clean, sterile air of the hospital. I knew Carlisle could smell it as well, her, her blood, the mutt, but he said nothing. His fingers moved her hair out of the way, gently, to the pulse point on her neck, judging the speed of her heart. He turned back and walked to Charlie. "Charlie, she'll be safe. I'll let you know if anything's wrong as soon as I can, but for now it's for the best if you remain calm in the waiting room." Charlie nodded at him.

"Yes....please, Dr. Cullen, just make sure she's alright..."

"I will do everything I can...Also, she has a file here, but still you have to fill out admittance papers," he said in his kind voice. Charlie nodded again and turned to the woman behind the desk.

My father made his way back to where Bella and I were. "Son, please be kind enough to wait for me in my office. Alice may be there, too; she sounded very tense on the phone." He said this so only I could here. I nodded, incapable of answering any other way. As much as I wanted to stay by her side, I knew it wouldn't be prudent while Carlisle was at work.

"Please, Dad, she's alright, though, right? ...Do you know what's wrong....?" I knew of course he didn't, not having examined her yet, but I needed reassurance. I could still smell her blood, fresh, from somewhere I couldn't see. It unnerved me fully.

"Edward," he placed a hand on my slumped shoulder. "Please, son, just go. I will come get you first as soon as I'm done." I just nodded.

When I reached his office, I felt myself relax a tiny fraction. His office was homely, dimly lit in the evening. I saw Alice there, pacing, but as I entered the look on her face changed to one of relief.

"Edward," she let out a breath she seemed to of been holding in. "What happened—?"

"Please, Alice, don't. I've no more a clue than you do, so if you want news you'll have to wait." I didn't mean to sound rude or bitter, but I couldn't help myself. I was frustrated with not being able to do anything. Her mind tried to soothe me, but still the sudden onslaught of frustration was unbearable! If she hadn't made me leave Bella without any protection, whatever happened could have been avoided! If only she had at least _agreed_ to watch over Bella...!

_If I hadn't left...! _ It was all my fault!

She moved to curl up on a comfortable looking armchair next to the window. I was left standing rigidly, counting every minute that passed. I hoped with all my might that she was alright. I even prayed to the gods I didn't believe in that I was only overreacting like I usually did. That nothing serious was wrong.

Exactly thirty three minutes had passed since Carlisle had taken her, and suddenly Alice jerked up and tucked her legs tightly against her. Her face hit against her knees. I didn't want to look at her, and it seemed she didn't want to look at me either. I moved and sat on the couch against the furthest wall and shoved my face in my hands on my knees. I didn't want to ask what it was she was seeing. I couldn't bring myself to. If Carlisle had news, he would find me first thing.

The minutes trickled by at a pace that was killing me, and I felt as insignificant as a black ant at midnight. I fisted my hair in my hands, willing time to go by faster until I could see her again.

Suddenly her face snapped in my direction, and I had to look at her. "Edward!" she began, her voice sounded strained and even though it was slightly hushed, it was still a little higher than it usually was. "Edward, you must be strong." I only looked at her, the crease between my eyebrows the result of my frustration, making my stare appear that much more intense. I didn't want to guess what she was on about, I could only imagine that it had something to do with my Bella if she was asking that of me. "Edward, you must promise me that you will be strong and rational."

"What the hell are you talking about, Alice!?" I said at my vampire speed, my teeth clenched.

She didn't answer, and Carlisle came in seconds later. I got on my feet and went to him at once. I wanted to ask so many things, I didn't know where to start, but I knew that the first thing I _needed_ to know was if she was alright. When I voiced my question it came out in a scatter of words, too quickly spoken for even vampires, but I knew he understood regardless.

"She's...fine, Edward." I didn't like how he said that. He sounded like she was anything but. His voice, too, sounded strained. If it wasn't for the severity of the situation, I would have tried to soothe him, but I didn't even have the strength to cure myself. "She will be."

Suddenly Alice was at our side asking the most ludicrous of things before I could say anything else to him. "Carlisle, please, can I see her first? I know what room she's in." They shared a look of understanding, and I didn't like it one bit. I wanted so badly to read their thoughts, but both were trying so _hard_ not to convey anything that would give anything away. The growl that escaped my chest was unstoppable as I looked from one to the other.

"Yes, Alice, I think it best you do....I'll try to calm Edward down before anything else—" He couldn't possibly be agreeing with this. This was Bella, my beautiful little tiger-kitten. I _had _to see her now.

"Carlisle," I began, my voice full of tangible anger, my teeth clenched again. Alice made to move out the door but I grabbed her thin, steel arm, holding her back.

"Edward, please, reason with us." _ How_ could I reason with him when he was giving me _no _reasons! "You'll understand...I have a few things to tell you first. I promise you will see her soon."

I let out a harsh breath in despair. When I turned to Alice she looked like she would burst out into tears if she could. Unwillingly I let her go.

She reached up to touch my shoulder before she left. _Be strong, Edward_.

My jaw locked in apprehension to what was coming. I was desperately trying to shuffle through my father's thinking but he really didn't want me to know just yet. He shut the door after Alice made her way out, his eyes regarding me with caution.

"Carlisle, please, tell me what is wrong." My voice sounded low as I tried to convey unto him how badly his stalling was making me feel.

"First, you must promise me, for her, that you will not do anything foolish and stupid. Remember that she will need you to be strong for her and for yourself, especially once you know—"

"I promise!" I said quickly cutting him off. I wanted to make him stop, I wanted for him to just blurt out anything he had to tell me.

"Edward...." His lips pursed and his face turned to one of pain. Whatever he was going to say, he obviously didn't want to have to do it out loud. It made me afraid that _he_ was afraid of this. I let out a breath of frustration.

_Edward_...._Jacob—_

I couldn't help the harsh growl that came out when he thought the wolf's name. Whatever happened was obviously the wolf's fault.

_Edward, Jacob raped Bella_....

"Edward...?" He was stunned by my lack of reaction.

Inside, I was burning.

I knew it. Right then and there.

I would kill him.

Every muscle inside me locked rigidly and I trembled with the hatred that coursed through my hardened veins. I wanted to scream until they collapsed.

I wanted his neck in my hands. I wanted to brake it slowly. Take joy in his spilled blood, puddled in dark spirals around me. To forever damn him to the damnedest of hells.

I couldn't control it. I would burst. Sudden images of his hands all over her descended in my head. I remembered the bruises I saw on her. I couldn't think of the suffering I couldn't see. The pain was working its way inside, never ending, just scorching down my throat down onto my limbs.

"Edward, listen to me...you can't do anything...You have to be strong for her, for Bella."

Bella! My trembling, warm, adored Bella....I suddenly felt the life taken away from me completely, like a blow knocking everything out of me. The pain went on, I couldn't make it, but the thought of _her _suffering was destroying me worse than anything in all the worlds, in all the universe, ever could.

My angel....Would she ever be the same? Would she ever forget? I knew from experience the answer to that already. I had seen Rosalie suffer for years, even after she had found Emmett...I couldn't bring myself to face her. To face the sadness she was being confronted with. But I was not what mattered anymore. I didn't want to face her, but I _had_ to be with her, to hug her, tell her everything would be okay. That I still loved her, always would, no matter what.

I never understood how anyone could ever submit someone to something as horrid as that. I never understood because for me she would always have a choice. Always. Any decision was hers to be made. To be robbed of choice was a way to brake the soul.

I was so tired, and I never wanted to sleep more than I did now. To just slip away into that mercy.

Why...? How could he do that to her...?

_I don't think Jacob would hurt me anymore than you would_, her beautiful, rosy smiling face had told me. She had looked so trusting, so innocent and naive. A kitten at the worst of times...That felt like ages ago. Of course I knew he was capable of hurting her, but never, never did I think he would scar her this way. I was so utterly stupid, foolish, a complete fucking idiot to of let her go alone! I was a complete fucking imbecile.

I hadn't realized that I was on the ground with my head clenched in my hands until Carlisle placed his hand around my wrist.

"Edward," his voice was ever so gentle and kind as always. I didn't understand how he could be so perfectly calm when all I could hear was the screaming in my head. "Son—"

"Tell me." My voice sounded low, too pained to even hope for strength, but I kept going. "Tell me how she is. I must know the extent of it before I go to her...." I had to be prepared. No matter what, I could live with this because she was still my perfect Bella. What I couldn't bear was the thought of her thinking herself a lesser person for it. I was nothing without her. And this wasn't her fault. It was the dog's, dammit! But ultimately I knew the fault lay on me because I was the one that failed to protect her.

"Carlisle..?"

He sighed. He didn't want to say more, fearing it would trigger a bloodbath and vendetta on my part. He had no idea,

"Carlisle, I'm not a fool." Of course, I begged to differ with that, but no need to let him know here, now. "I know she needs me and I will be there for her." I was glad my voice came out firm, in spite of its quietness.

He sighed again. "I know it was Jacob who did it because the semen samples matched the DNA I took from him after he got hurt last year." I winced at his straightforward words. I also suddenly remembered seeing through Charlie's mind that mess on her thighs. I knew that her blood had been from his attack. My heart broke endlessly at the pain she must of had to endure. "She has several bruises and a fractured, dislocated wrist that I managed to put back in place. Other than the obvious injuries he inflicted, physically she's alright."

She was alright....Her spirit was another completely different thing altogether...but I would be there for her. I would try to gain my Bella back from this. Together, for always. In the good and the bad. She would be okay. I would take care of her. I would never leave her side again.

And someday, perhaps not soon, but someday, I will avenge the heartbreak and suffering he'd caused her. I swore to kill him, and I would stand by that. I'd hunt him down, look in every nook and cranny of the darkest places until I found him. He would pay dearly before I condemned him to the deepest corner of hell.

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I know there was no real need for that very first Jacob part, but I had it stuck in my head that I wrote it out anyway :P And another thing, I apologize that this was no action packed chapter :( more of a filler, really. ahh well. don't worry, my friends. All in due time....Also, sorry I kept going back and forth from the rape to after it and back again. I hadn't initially meant for this to turn into a story. By the time I got all these sweet ideas (thanks to you lot for reviewing!) It was too late to go back because the first part had already been posted :P so I hope it all made sense :)

I think Jacob and Edward's confrontation will wait until the next chapter since I've yet to write it :P ...I couldn't very well have them fight with Bella in her state and Charlie present up there, now could I? I have to give them a proper rendezvous....which will be tough to write for me. Any suggestions?! ;P Please, any at all, or comments are fully welcome because I certainly don't get enough of those! :)

Next chapter: Bella's awake. More from Charlie. The Cullens reaction.....Edward and Bella....

(Brandy, dear, thanks ever so much for your reviews. You are the reason why I kept writing this :) unfortunately your reviews don't include your email, they just end in brandy....I'm a bit confused. anyway, anything you want to say, feel free to email me. the address should be on my page.)

**thanks to all of you beautiful people for reviewing!! truly means loads to me! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

Hey! Long time no see, right!?

Okay it's nearly 4: 30 in the morning. Be proud of me! I've stayed up _really_ late this week trying to finish this up so I could post :) I know I've been terrible, not updating in over a month. Shame on me! You can smack my hand with a ruler because I know I deserve it. I blame the horrible case of writer's block I had after the holidays.

You can get on to reading now, I will bug you with A/N's at the end of the chapter ^_~

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I didn't know what was happening. Everything was so blurry. I felt how stiff and numb my body was. But I was aware enough to register that the numbness had come from pain, because I still felt it dully deep in my bones. Even though I felt numb, I also knew that once I opened my eyes and moved any part of my body I'd feel the force of it. I could go without that for a bit longer.

The first thing I focused on was the pain in my chest, as if something great had been smothering me for a while. Then after that, slowly, I started to feel the rest of it. The dull throbbing from my neck down my arms, in my belly down my legs.

I realized my wrist hurt. Maybe it had been dislocated or broken. I didn't know, but it might have happened when he slammed my wrist against the tree...

The sudden recap of the events that insured my stay here—which I now realized was a hospital, flooded my half addled brain. My jaw felt tense, almost painful, probably from being clenched so tightly.

Everything hurt and all I kept remembering was Jacob. I didn't want to, but all I could see was his face, twisted in a scary snarl.

"...Bella?" I recognized that voice, but it sounded so far off. I wasn't sure if it'd even be worth answering; surely he wouldn't hear me....but then I remembered where I was, my surroundings. He must be here. I reluctantly opened my eyes, careful to not open them too quickly. I'd feel like I'd pass out again if I rushed any body movement. And I couldn't give in to the darkness again. He might come back.

...I looked in the direction of the farthest end of the ceiling since my head was propped up slightly by some pillows, and I blinked trying to adjust my numb face, to gain some feeling back. I had to work to relax my jaw for my voice to work. "C-Carlisle...?" Ugh, my voice sounded so hoarse and groggy. I wished I could at least _sound _stronger. I was coming out of my hazy mind and I noticed a slight nurse shuffling her way to the door with a tray. She glanced at me and her eyes looked...regretful. She looked at me with pity, I realized. I quickly moved my eyes to the other person in the small room. He was at the foot of the bed.

"Bella, even under these circumstances you're fine..." His tone sounded encouraging, like he was trying to make me comprehend that I was indeed fine, but it did little to ease me. "You're safe here, I promise you that. Please, you must relax. Try to. The joints in your body are so stiff, you must give yourself a chance to recuperate." I tried to do what he was saying because I wanted recuperation more than anything, but it was very hard to move to let my guard down. I knew my body was tense, but I couldn't figure out how to unlock the muscles to give my body a chance to heal. All the while I tried to not give into the thoughts my mind kept remembering. If there was any way to forget or destroy that part of my memory, I would do it instantly.

Carlisle came closer around the right side of my bed and I looked at his face, following every movement he made slowly. I had that impatient, ominous feeling someone was going to jump at me out of nowhere. It made me clutch the fabric of the hospital gown I was wearing under the covers to my sides. I tried to repress that feeling, though, because right now I was looking at Carlisle and no one else was in here, and Carlisle would never hurt me. I focused on him as best I could. His beauty always stunned me. His eyes, under the precious tuft of his blonde hair, were gentle, warm, like liquid butterscotch, so much like Edward's when he looked at me....

_Oh, Edward_....I knew if he was here, holding me, I could relax more easily, maybe even sleep like I wanted to, but there was no way that I could face him right now. The thought was completely mortifying. There was no way I could see him. I felt my head jerk from one side to the other involuntarily for a second.

"I know what happened, Bella. It was confirmed with the examination I handled." I looked away from him and groaned slightly and the sound sounded painful even to my own ears. I knew it was necessary procedure after what happened, but the embarrassment and the extreme hurt of knowing that it really hadn't been a nightmare were still there. I wished so terribly that it had just been a nightmare. I would give anything for it to of just been that, a wicked dream. Jacob couldn't have done that to me. Something as horrific as that _couldn't_ have happened to me. I was in complete denial. I didn't know how I could feel so many things at once. I felt like my head would burst.

Carlisle took something from the small table next to the bed I laid in. "I can't guarantee it will work, because as far as I know there hasn't been cases like yours before that I know of. Because of what he is, Jacob—" I could hear his reluctance to say the name, and it wasn't like I wanted to hear it either, my slight wince told him that. "—Is built differently, but he is still human, so I ask you, would you like to take some emergency contraceptives to prevent any possible conception..." I nodded my head, not wanting him to finish. I definitely didn't want to risk any chance of becoming pregnant. He nodded with the relief of not having to continue.

Just then the same nurse from earlier came in baring a clear pitcher of water—I assumed—and some cups. Carlisle thanked the nurse and I knew he was grateful for her sudden appearance as a diversion. His hand moved to flick on the lamp. Again the nurse looked at me with pity in her eyes, but this time she gave me a tentative smile before she left, turning off the main light as she went. I knew Carlisle wasn't embarrassed to talk to me about what happened, but he must sense my distress, which probably made him feel reluctant to go on. Instead he handed me a pill which I willingly took from him with my good hand. My arm felt heavy but I pushed through the discomfort as bravely as I could. It would be very hard to swallow but it'd be harder to deal with a possible future pregnancy if I didn't. He poured water into a cup and I had to drink several gulps of it before I could force the pill down my throat, and then several more afterward to keep it down. The pill had a slight chalky taste—but that could have just been my own mouth—and was fairly small, but in my stiff throat it felt like the size of a golf ball, trying to force its way down inside my hurting chest.

He waited a few minutes for me to pull myself together before continuing. "You don't have to say anything right now....but your father is outside, awaiting news of your state. Do you want to tell him the truth...? I wouldn't normally suggest lying, but in this situation, taking into account your feelings is of much greater importance to me. Although I advice that the truth be told...."

I felt my eyes start to tear up and even though it was an improvement to the lack of feeling in my face, I still wish I hadn't. What would I tell Charlie? My poor father didn't need something like this in his life. His only child, only daughter, _rap_—I couldn't bring myself to think the dirty word.....and by a man he trusted completely. A man he would have even wanted as his _own _son. I wished I could lie to him about this. I didn't want him to be burdened by something that was my fault. No one should be burdened by this but me. Still, I knew it would have some degree of effect to those around me, and I wished Charlie didn't have to go through it. I seriously, wholeheartedly wished that I was strong enough to lie to him...but I knew I was a mess, and I knew I couldn't put up a charade with my father. Not one of this magnitude and especially not now that he would be watching me so closely.

I took a deep breath. "....No..." I blinked repeatedly, willing the tears to go away, before I looked at him. "No...but I don't—" I exhaled. I didn't think I could continue.

He stood straight but his posture was still inviting, not at all reproachful. His eyes were very warm and gentle as he waited for me to go on, but the seconds trickled by and I wasn't sure I could get another word out with the ever present knife that kept stabbing at my chest with every breath I took. "It's alright, Bella, I promise." He placed his hand on my right shoulder and I couldn't help the ghastly shiver that ran through me. I looked into his eyes, hoping he didn't think that I trembled at _his _touch, it was just that it felt like any sort of contact would set me off now. I was glad his gaze was still gentle. "You don't have to do it, Bella. Would you like it better if I told Charlie the truth?"

I was very grateful that he asked me this. I silently thanked him for trying to make this easier for me. He was truly the most gentle, greatest doctor the world had ever had. I quickly nodded, but the movement made me lightheaded and I waited a few moments to catch my breath before saying anything more. "...Yes, I don't think I could hide this from him," I rasped out. I was glad my voice only broke once. "And I know h-he must be waiting to see me, but." I talked slowly, trying to keep my voice steady. "But I'm not ready just yet."

I wished I _could _hide it. But Charlie wasn't the only one I wished I could hide this from. I hoped with all the might I could muster that Edward wouldn't be coming back tomorrow afternoon like he had promised. It seemed like such a short time until he came looking for me. I needed more time to prepare myself. I hoped that he and his brothers were having a good hunting trip, that they would take a few days longer. But I knew even that was a stretch.

Suddenly I thought of something and I looked at the gentle vampire again. "....Did my father bring me here, Carlisle? Do you know if h-he found me...?" Something flickered in his eyes, but I wasn't sure what it was, and I didn't have the energy to ponder it anyway.

"Bella, your father was one of the persons who brought you..." _One of the—_I looked at him, urging him to tell me who else had brought me to this place. He looked a little reluctant to go on. It couldn't be Jacob—I briefly wondered what he could have said to my dad—Please don't let him be here,_ please_. My eyes watered again at the thought. He must have sensed the fear his words caused because he quickly moved on. "Edward came back. Both him and Charlie drove you here."

"Oh..." I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and my eyes fluttered to the blue covers on top of me. Oh, no...Edward already knew what happened, or would know very soon. If the bed should sink into the ground, I'd happily go right along with it.

"Bella, don't tire yourself with any unnecessary thinking. Your only focus should be yourself, to get yourself better and heal...." Again he placed his hand on my shoulder. There was an edge to his voice that told me he wasn't talking about just the healing of my body. There seemed to be something else he wanted to say, but looked unsure as to whether he should continue. "....Both Alice and Edward are in my office, Bella....I know you're feeling great distress...." Right before I closed my eyes I saw his gaze grow softer, if that were possible. He made me feel like I was truly a part of his family, a part he wanted to protect with all his heart, like he was a real father to me. "....But," he continued, "this isn't something I'm keeping from my son...because you need us all, and we will be here, including him, no matter what you may think." That last part made me feel like my face probably revealed how much I didn't want to not see Edward just yet. Although, at the same time, I longed for him like always. He gave me a tentative smile. "I'm going to go inform your father that you're doing fine before anything else." He must have some inkling on how Charlie must be feeling, being as good as a father himself. He patted my hand softly and gave me another warm smile before he walked out.

I was glad he left. I was glad to be alone. Without the shameful stares of the nurse or Carlisle's penetrating eyes. I didn't want to see anyone right now. I was a coward in that sense, but at the same time I felt that if I was exposed to anyone, my secret would be written all over my face and I'd be a freak show for more pitiful or disgusted stares. I didn't want that. Especially not from the people I loved. Especially not from him.

Minutes passed and I wondered if my father would come in to see me, or if Carlisle telling him that I was fine would be enough for now. More minutes trickled away and I couldn't help the painful memories that resurfaced in my distraction-less solitude. Even though the room was already softly lit by the lamp Carlisle turned on earlier, I still felt like it dimmed around me even more as the memory of him came to mind. I couldn't even think his name because I associated the word with my best friend, not the man that had hurt me like this. I felt the air around me suddenly become musty, like I was breathing in the smell of the dirt floor, not the sterile, clean air of the hospital. I felt like I had the heat of his large body on top of me, hurting, smothering me, and not the plain lightweight covers. My breath came in and out of my chest in quick gasps. The stabbing knife returned to my chest in full force. I placed my shaking, cold hands on top of my wet face trying desperately to block it all out.....No, he couldn't come back. He wouldn't!

....The mental agitation disappeared slightly as a more pressing matter walked in through the door. She wore a black wool, cowl neck sweater that made her pale skin look even more beautiful with her jet black pixie hair. Alice came closer to me. I almost didn't want her to, and although I shuddered at first, her cold arms were now nothing but a loving substitute for the cold arms of the one I, deep down, really wanted.

"Oh, Bella..." She sighed into my hair and wrapped her arms more tightly around my shoulders in a reaction so soothing and full of understanding. What happened next was like a damn bursting, letting the water run free in fury. I broke down and tears I didn't know I still had in me leaked furiously out of my eyes. I could feel myself shaking. I couldn't help the tremors that coursed through my body. I no longer cared to keep composed like I did in front of Carlisle. I let all the anger, all the hurt and sadness out of me. She continued to hold me, whispering words in a soothing tone that I did not hear because my sobs and chokes were much too loud for me to focus on much else. My head dipped into my chest and my legs recoiled, pressing themselves closely to my body in an attempt to shun every corner and image in my mind that screamed of him hurting me. But that did not matter. The memory of the hot, heady smell of him still managed to come crashing down on me. No matter how much I tried to focus on Alice and her embrace, I could still remember the feeling of utter hopelessness as his body smothered mine in the darkness.

She kept talking as the minutes passed and I tried very hard to pull away from everything I remembered. I started listening to her words, the only thing keeping me sane from breaking down again. Her voice came and went in a hazy manner of slurs and hums. In my state I caught some words, but most were inaudible to me until the heaves and sobs eased, when I could hear more. "...Shh...you're part...my family...between us.....it will never happen again." She rubbed my arms and her lips brushed my hair. Slowly I let myself think that I was okay for the moment. My quick breathing slowed. She laid me back down on the propped pillows and I realized that her whole body was lying next to mine on top of the covers. I snuggled closer into her arms and let her soothing embrace take me over. I couldn't sleep, so I consciously drifted in and out in a haze. She was still whispering to me words of safety and love, and again I let myself think I would be alright. I would be okay.

I don't know how long I laid there with Alice like that, but I could tell that she was trying to rouse me to full alertness now. She patted my arms softly. I opened my eyes all the way slowly, blinking blearily a few times before actually paying attention to her.

"Your father will be coming in here in a minute, okay?" She smiled warmly. The gold of her eyes were a bit dark. Other than Carlisle, I had never really thought of how the Cullens would fare in a hospital. I mean, of course I could guess. And now that I saw it, I wondered if she could smell blood from other rooms. Or perhaps she just hadn't hunted in a while. I didn't know, and I was starting to get tired again so I didn't do any further thinking or questioning about it..... "Tell you what, I'll go pretend to fill up the pitcher again." She opened a cabinet and poured the remaining water into a small blue bucket she found. "You'll get thirsty again won't you?" she chirped in her normal happy voice hiding the blue container behind some other supplies. I felt a corner of my mouth lift, and I realized it felt weird. Like I hadn't done it in a lifetime. Like I had almost forgotten how. The realization made me frown. Of course. She came near me again. "I'll let you talk to him. I know he wants to see for himself that you're okay. I'll only be gone a few minutes, alright?" I didn't want her to go. I wanted to see my father, but I didn't want any lingering visits from him. From anyone for that matter, except Alice. I couldn't be a coward though. I knew he wouldn't actually think I was alright until he saw me for himself. I nodded. She kissed my forehead and said, "I promise, I'll only be gone a few minutes."

She made her graceful way to the door and as she opened it Charlie came into view. It seemed he had been about to knock, the look on his face made it seem like he hadn't been sure of whether to knock or just come in. My poor father, he was probably glad Alice had saved him the trouble.

"Bella's thirsty." She held up the pitcher in a gesture that said she was going to get more water. She smiled warmly at Charlie as she left and he nodded and smiled back, and I noticed it seemed a bit reluctant. Like he had forgotten how, just like I had.

He walked in slowly, looking at the ground, which in turn made me do the same. I took a deep breath, already trying to blink back tears that threatened to overthrow me once again.

"Bells..." he whispered next to me in a soft tone. He placed his left hand on my shoulder and his right on the propped rail of the bed. His brown eyes were downcast as he gazed at me from under his tired lids. I turned my watery eyes up to him. Little crow-like wrinkles formed at the ends of his eyes when he looked at me and his face turned sad. I hated for him to look that way.

"Once again I've seemed to of landed myself in the hospital, huh...." My weak attempt at humor was in vain because tears leaked out of the corner of my eye as I remembered the reasons I was here. Reasons that, thanks to Carlisle, he now knew.

His stare turned hard as he processed what I said. He was bursting to say something, but all he did was exhale greatly, his hand fidgeted on the rail. He took another breath trying to subdue himself. "...Well, the bigger accidents never really seem to be your fault, do they?"

I couldn't say anything. I ripped my gaze from him and looked at my interlocked fingers on my lap. I relaxed them because they were pale and cold with tense rigidness.

A few moments went by before he removed his hand from my shoulder and spoke again. "What happened to you, Bells....I-I have to tell Renee."

_No!_ I shook my head from side to side quickly. I should have known by now that the movement would still make me feel woozy. I gasped for air and he patted my shoulder again, trying to calm me. It's not that I didn't want Renee to know, it was just that I couldn't do with worrying about how my mother would be faring with this knowledge. I couldn't take care of her, ease her worry over me, with her being so far away. I didn't want to burden her as well with this. Not when I was trying so desperately to forget about it.

I looked at him, making sure I had his attention before speaking. "Dad, I don't want you to tell Renee," I started to say once I had recovered myself a little. The little wrinkles, the product of anguish, were back on his face. "Please, let me keep _one_ of my parents happy...."

Judging by the firm set of his lips, he no longer seemed capable of speech now. He touched the side of my head, his warm hand over my hair. Slowly his face relaxed and he nodded. "Then promise me you'll tell her soon...when your ready." _That_ I could promise because no obligations were expected of me anytime soon.

"...Okay..." I _would_ tell my mother, though, when the time was right. As soon as I was ready.

Suddenly he crushed my shoulders to him in a fierce, protective hug. "I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered to me. His voice was slightly muffled, and his mouth exhaled his warm breath against my hair. "I've been thinking, and I really shouldn't have told him it was okay to go to the house when I knew you would be there alone. I'm sorry Bells!" He hugged me tighter, like the strong, protecting father he was in the few occasions I had really needed it; most of them during the years of my childhood. He was trying desperately to keep me—his only family, together, and for the first time since _he_ hurt me I felt safe. _Truly_ safe. I couldn't help it now. A new batch of tears poured out of me. When I had been with Alice she had made me feel like I would eventually be alright, she gave me a bit of hope, but my dear father had actually infused my body with a sense of safety and love that I sighed out loud with the relief of it. I had forgotten how something could feel so amazing. The safety wrapped around me made me feel whole. "It-t must have been so horrible for you, honey." My hands hid my face in his chest as more tears soaked through. He pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you....But I promise you, sweetheart, I will arrest him and do everything I can to make sure he stays in jail for the rest of his miserable life." A few moments later my sobs were starting to quiet down. I wasn't sure how much good it would do if Jac—if _he_—went to jail and was locked up forever, but the thought did ease the mess that I was. Charlie noted the change in me and he assured me more fervently—now sounding like both father and sheriff—that he would do everything in his power to lock him up for good. "...I promise you that, honey."

"—And I fully support it if you decide to shoot that dog to pieces, Charlie." Alice had come through the door quiet as ever and came bouncing to the foot of my bed. Charlie gave my forehead another kiss before straightening up. She scrunched up her little forehead thoughtfully for a moment, then pouted and said, "Would you arrest me if I shot him...?" Charlie laughed slightly, perhaps imagining tiny, little Alice with his large rifle in her small hands.

"I will pretend that's not a confession for a future crime if he later turns up dead." His eyes glinted like his old self, and I earnestly thanked Alice and my father's fondness for her. She smiled like the pixie she was. Charlie turned to me again and said he was going to get started right away. "I'll need an official report from Dr. Cullen; Alice, sweetheart, do you know where your father is?"

"I last saw him down at the front desk finishing up some forms. If he's not there anymore just have a receptionist page him." She smiled as she sat daintily next to my feet.

He nodded, smiling. "Thanks...Take care of my Bella, will you?"

"Of course!"

"Good." He turned to me and told me he'd be back to see me soon. I smiled at him as best I could. It might have been a grimaced grin, but he did not say anything.

Alice and I watched as he exited and shut the door softly behind him. She got to her feet as gracefully as ever and went over to the counter across the room near the door. She came to the side of my bed with the refilled pitcher of water. "Here drink a little, you'll feel better." Her smile was encouraging, so much like Carlisle's had been earlier, as she handed me a cup halfway full. "Your lips look a little pale and dry, and this thing you're wearing—" She pinched the fabric of if near my shoulder and shook her head in disdain. "—Isn't helping." I rolled my eyes at her slightly. She grinned, pleased with herself.

The water felt cool going down my throat. She was right, I did feel better. She took the cup from me and asked if I wanted more. "No, I'm fine...better now." She smiled a half smile at me as she took in my wet face. The tears hadn't complete dried yet. I looked down at my hands, trying to avoid her penetrating stare. She turned my face to hers again and touched my cheeks, wiping away stray tears.

"I wish you really would feel better." The corners of her mouth turned down in a frown of true sadness. She stood in the same spot Charlie had been standing earlier and she did the same thing he had done, and hugged me tightly again. "It will take time but you'll feel better, okay, I promise..."

I rested the right side of my head against her chest and closed my eyes, feeling more tears make their way slowly down my face.

X X X

It was still dark outside, very late in the night, or early in the morning, whatever way you wanted to look at it, and I could hear the sirens wailing their way closer as Charlie—well, it was my guess that Charlie was behind the wheel—pressed his foot on the gas pedal down further. He was speeding his way to me in that old cruiser. I had to be quick if I was going to escape.

Billy's eyes were on me as he watched me get to my feet from my place on the couch. I knew he had come to the conclusion I was planning as his eyes turned reproachful towards me.

After I left Bella all those hours ago, I wasn't sure if the vampire would come running after me. I had transformed to my more natural self and had run west into the forest. I wanted him to come after me. I wanted to fight him, but I left in hope that he would follow me so I could finish him off. I didn't want Bella or Charlie to see what I was capable of in battle—well, I didn't really oppose to Bella watching me fight for her, but I doubted she wanted to witness the battle that would bring her precious vampire's demise. Because that's what this would ultimately lead to. A battle, a raging war between the wolf and its sole enemy. I knew one thing was certain....There was no _way_ I would ever lose this. It was a war for Bella's love. She loved me. I knew she still did. All I needed was to get Edward Cullen out of the picture. Out of her life. Or her out of his life. Only then would she see how incredibly strong the bond of our souls, of our love, is.

I stopped a short distance away from the perimeter around Bella's house. I couldn't sense him coming near me. I snarled, letting the excessive drool of saliva flow down my mouth. Obviously he wasn't ready to face me, the coward. With my sense of the lost battle I thought would approach came room to register the howls and yelps from my fellow wolves. They weren't all there—only two, maybe three voices were distinct, but before I could ponder anything but outrage from them, the ties of our minds were severed. No doubt they would run off to warn Sam of what I had done. No matter though. No _assumed _Alpha would stop me from my destiny because ultimately it was my choice how my life would play out, and it ended with a happy Bella at my side. That was the course I had decided for myself. And I would do anything to reach it.

I walked the few paces to the window and through the curtains I saw Charlie's cruiser nearing my house. Maybe a half mile away.

"You will not run away, Jacob." Internally I scoffed at the obvious authority in my father's voice. As if I would ever let anyone dictate me. "Do the right thing and turn yourself in." Of course Sam told my father as soon as he got whiff of my actions. No doubt he had phoned him and told him everything the others had gathered from my thoughts.

Suddenly Sam thundered his way through my front door. He took a look at me before coming to stand next to the wheelchair my father sat in. They were perfect together, representing the ultimate united Indian front. I wouldn't let it faze me though. I had a more pressing matter as I heard Sam talk about how wrong I had done. Would I turn myself in? Should I? No, it wouldn't matter too much. I would only lose time. Time, precious time I had to find Bella and take her away from this madness. But then again, if I did turn myself in it might be easier to convince Charlie of my good intentions. I was trying to do this as morally correct as I could, and having Charlie's consent was on thing I needed for Bella's sake. Besides, it wouldn't be too hard to escape if I needed to. Turning myself in was probably the best choice because it would be better to face what was coming head on knowing I could get out whenever I wanted, than living like a coward running away from Charlie, Billy, Sam, and the rest of the pack.

I could hear the cruiser parking in the gravel of the driveway. I could hear Charlie's voice as well as another man's—probably another officer. The door had remained open from when Sam had come in earlier, and I turned at just the right moment to see officer Charlie Swan stomp his way into my house.

X X X

"It will take time but you'll feel better, okay, I promise..."

I saw her in my sister's arms, cradled like the fragile little human that she is. She didn't immediately look at me, for I came in silently, like it was in my nature to do so. If she felt my presence she didn't show it. Her eyes were lowered, her lashes forming dark half-moons over her pale cheeks. Her lips were the rosiest part of her tear-stricken face, but still pale. They trembled slightly as she cried softly against Alice's chest. I stood frozen, staring at the dim lighted scene before me. Alice's gaze was on me. They didn't seem reproachful at my uninvited intrusion. Her thoughts told me that she was glad I was finally here. She hoped I would take over Bella's caring. Not because she no longer wanted to be there with her, but because she felt Bella needed me now that I was finally here, which I agreed with.

....It was just that I was so clueless in this situation. I remember taking care of Rosalie, along with my mother and father, because Rosalie, too, had suffered through this kind of terrible experience. But there were great differences in Bella and Rose as women. Rosalie didn't really like me back then, and I didn't quite love her like my sister, not like I love her now, so I hadn't made a real effort to help her live through it during the time she truly needed it. I tried to help her, but most of the time I did my best to stay away from her fits.

No...Even though they were both the same situation, Rose and Bella were two completely different people. Rosalie had a cold, hard exterior, and although her heart was good, she didn't have the immediate unselfish warmth that Bella always had. Bella's love is so unconditional that there aren't any vain boundaries to break down first. I wanted to give her, keep giving her, all the love and comfort she needed and deserved. But my ultimate weakness still caused me shameful inhibitions. I didn't know what to say. Didn't know what to do. How to act. I had made a conscious effort to break through Rosalie's barriers, but only years after her attack when she had cooled off. For Bella, I expected myself to deal with this now, for her sake and for my own.

I went over to the bed, opposite the side Alice was standing on. Gently I reached my arm out to take hold of the warm hand resting against her leg. I knew she could fell my presence now, but still she didn't look at me. I felt her hand tense as her eyelids lifted. Her expressive, luminous brown eyes were round as she looked at me. I could see that her expression was regretful, almost ashamed to look at me, and I didn't understand why. Slowly her eyelids fell shut again, and her lashes clung to her cheeks as fat, pear-like tears fell down her cheekbones. Right then and there I would have given anything to make Bella happy again. But somewhere inside me I also felt the bloodlust, the urge to kill Jacob, grow stronger, more angrier than ever. It would have been an unsettling feeling had I not known what he had done, how much pain he had caused her—_still_ caused her.

I held her hand tighter in my cold palm, and as the big tears hit her pale hospital gown with a tiny _thud _loud enough for my sensitive vampire ears to hear, I knew I would never let her hurt like this again. Not ever if it was in my power to prevent it. I felt my brow furrow in the anguish I felt. I couldn't stand to watch her cry. I knew she was feeling scared and horrible because of what he had done, but I didn't want her to. I grabbed her shoulders and crashed her warm body to me. I heard her cries of the agony she felt. I felt her break her hold on control as she trembled and heaved in my arms. I shuddered as the delight of her warmth coursed through me. I felt that wonderful feeling I always got when I heard her human heart throbbing in her chest. The rhythm grew erratic as she sobbed and heaved, but as long as I could feel and hear it everything in the universe was set right. And I realized how stupid I had been for thinking I couldn't go through this. As if I wouldn't face everything for her! The fool that I am, thinking being with Bella, especially under this circumstance, was anything but natural. I never thought of myself as stupid. Not even when I had been foolish and human. I came to realize that I only felt idiotic in a few situations—all with Bella. Only because I was stupid enough to think that I could ever guess her reactions correctly. I didn't let myself think about that now. I inhaled her floral, distinct scent. I felt her soft, warm skin pressing against me and I kissed her head, willing my thoughts of encouragement unto her. I would make everything in her world perfect again. I had never fully understood why she could be so happy with the monster that I was. But if being with me was what she wanted, what would make her happy, I could only too willingly oblige to her heart's desires.

For now none of us spoke or move, but whenever we did, I would do my best to invoke her with everything she needed and everything she ever wanted.

X X X

_It's a great pleasure, securing the silver handcuffs around the wrists of this damn monster that hurt my precious daughter mere hours before._ As the other officer read him his rights, sheriff Swan made sure the cuffs cut into his skin painfully. He did nothing to make this small action comfortable in any way. On the contrary, he even secured the cuffs another notch tighter. "I'm sorry, Billy, but after what your son has done to my daughter, I'm going to do everything in my power to keep him in jail," he promised. Charlie didn't feel the least bit of pity for Jacob, but his eyes were dark pools of regret for his best friend when he looked at the grim faced Billy.

"If it were any of my daughters I would do the same....You have every right, Charlie, as sheriff of Forks, and father of Bella. It just pains me that my own son could do something so atrocious...." Charlie nodded because he understood this fully. He had seen in Jake the son he never had. Up until the moment he still hadn't known something terrible had happened Jake had been a man Charlie would have been proud to call a son. A man that he would have loved his Bella to of married.

_I should have known. I wanted to believe he was good for her....How could I have let myself get so blinded....I should have guessed what he was capable of. Especially after he forced a kiss on her. That should have been my first clue._

It just went to show you that to a father no man would ever be good enough for his daughter, no matter how clueless he was. _Now there's no way in hell I'm ever putting my trust in that Cullen kid. _If he had known this would happen to Bella in Forks he would have sacrificed the chance to never fully know his daughter than to of let her stay with him after Renee remarried.

"I'm sure he'll want to contact you later," he said to Billy.

Sam had been there to restrain Jacob, but luckily he wasn't needed. Jacob obliged to everything the officers said. Charlie almost would have welcomed a struggle on his part. Perhaps he could have gotten a good beating on Jacob had that been so. But he made no noise, no sound of protest, not even when he shoved him roughly into the backseat of his police car.

Both Billy and Sam stood still at the door watching the police car drive off with its red and blue lights still shining brightly. Billy wondered what would become of his only son. Sam wondered what this would mean for the pack he was responsible for and for Bella and the Cullens.

*****

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Sadly this isn't as long as I hoped it would be :( and I'm pretty sure I started getting a bit choppy there towards the end because I didn't have too much detail and I'm also positive I left out some things I wanted to include, but it's past 4 and honestly I'm really tired :P So my apologies if there are any grammatical errors :) (because I didn't edit, sorryyyy!)

....But I do have some questions...Do you think I did Bella justice? I mean do you guys think her reactions after being raped were appropriate? What about the rest of the characters...? Say it in a review my loves!

I have to say THANKS to all of you guys and girls who reviewed :) I think I answered all the ones I could, except of course the anonymous reviewers like loveofUndomiel, reader, paris, and dolphingirl79. Shout outs to you guys for being so awesome and reading and reviewing! This one's for you lot!

Also, I must, must, **MUST** thank Brandy for giving me such wonderful ideas when I was stumped!! Putting Jacob in jail was one of her ideas and I liked it so much I had to write it out. It's thanks to her this story is actually taking shape of a _story_! My love goes out to you, deaer!

I adore you all and I love hearing from you!


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